The Guardian- A gunman at Umpqua Community College killed nine people last Thursday and injured nine others before taking his own life. The father of one survivor said the gunman, Christopher Harper-Mercer, asked a number of victims whether they were Christian before killing them.
In an appearance on Fox News Tuesday, Carson – a retired neurosurgeon currently performing strongly in the polls and with fundraisers – was asked to put himself in the shoes of someone approached by a gunman and asked to declare his or her faith.
“I’m glad you asked that question,” Carson said. “Not only would I probably not cooperate with him, I would not just stand there and let him shoot me. I would say, ‘Hey guys, everybody attack him. He may shoot me, but he can’t get us all.’” Then Carson smiled and chuckled.
Thank you Ben Carson. Thank you for blessing us with yet another soundbite that proves that this upcoming Presidential election will truly be the gift that keeps on giving. When Jeb Bush said that the term 'redskins' doesn't offend Native Americans I attributed it to "The Trump Factor". You just can't compete with someone that has a new ridiculous opinion everyday if you are going to be the boring, politically correct guy. However, I don't think that's the case here. This is just Ben Carson being Ben Carson, and as crazy offensive as it is, it actually makes me smile knowing he believes the bullshit spewing from his mouth.
Ben Carson everybody! The neurologist and Presidential hopeful that somehow already knows ahead of time how he would react when faced by an armed religious activist. It's a shame Ben wasn't there or we could have killed a whole flock of birds with one stone. We could have saved the lives of 9 students and wiped the black republican that thinks homosexuality is a sin off the planet. We really missed the boat on that one. If only these students knew that all they had to do was attack the guy with the lethal weapon. What a novel idea!
I don't mean to get a laugh at the expense of the lives lost, but the mental image of a school shooter standing there, gun in hand, as Ben Carson goes "HEY GUYS! I'M GOING TO ATTACK HIM NOW! HOPE I DON'T GET SHOT!" is fucking hysterical. We are talking about a guy that that went to Yale as a Democrat and graduated as a Republican. A guy that couldn't even keep his political affiliation when surrounded by so many others of a different political affiliation. The idea that he would be the one person to act on his own accord and attack a gunmen is unbridled delusion at it's finest. Ben Carson would tense up and have more sweat pouring from his hands than a white hooker is a baptist church. He would stiffen up faster than his take on social issues. Ben Carson would helplessly take one right between the eyes before he could even mutter the first syllable of "Christianity". Come on now. Do we really think the close minded Bible thumper is putting his life on the line for others? Can you imagine what a tragedy it would be if he accidentally saved the life of gay kid?! His BFF Jesus Christ would probably have to ship him straight down to hell. Can't take that chance, and luckily we won't have to, because Ben Carson strikes me as the type that would cause an awkward moment between him and the shooter when a puddle of pee formed at his feet.