Bet You Can't Guess The Suspension That A Slovenian Hockey Player Got For Trying To Kick A Swiss Player In The Neck With His Skate

Slovenia's Jeglic suspended 2 games...TWO GAMES?!?!...for this act against the Swiss.#IIHFWorlds pic.twitter.com/CIjZ4FYyPb

— Pete Buchanan (@Buc07) May 7, 2017

I'm not sure that there is a subtle way to attempt to slice someone's carotid artery with a sharpened blade of steel, but Ziga Jeglic found just about the least subtle way to do so. Never mind a two game suspension, he should have two games added to a lifetime suspension for not even having the decency to make his attempt at murder look like an accident. They say some people are more likely to wear their emotions on their face than others, and the Slovenian forward that made the intent of Happy Gilmore's skate stabbing incident seem questionable by comparison is the most likely. If you had just showed me a headshot of the kicker in question then I would have assumed that dude was hacking up a body, and it turns out I wouldn't have been all that far off. Maybe it sounds like I am overstating what happened here, but I doubt you would be saying that if Thomas Rufenacht's neck was turned into a Halloween-themed fountain. 

Man, after watching this I can't help but wonder whether or not Slovenia is schooled enough in the rules of hockey to perform on the international stage. Forget a two game suspension, the whole country should receive a two year suspension until they learn to keep their potentially fatal feet to themselves. Consider this, if one of their first line scoring threats can't change lines without trying to decapitate someone then what kind of threat does their end-of-the-bench enforcer pose? I think it's safe to say that throat slitting isn't part of the game, but - if it were - it certainly wouldn't be carried out by the more skilled players. Not only is Slovenia out there sending anthrax-level messages, but they aren't even using the proper carriers. 

Oh well, at least the NHL is temporarily off the hook. If I were one of Gary Boatman's cronies I would make sure this video is run before every single playoff game from now through the Stanley Cup Finals. Everything in life is relative, and - relatively speaking - the 'Department of Player Safety' can't possibly bungle a decision worse than the IIHF did by giving a guy a two game suspension for failing in his "This is SPARTA!"-style on-ice execution. Want to get people to view the hit that nearly scrambled the brains of Sidney Crosby in a more understanding light? Make sure this clip always accompanies it in the broadcast.