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Two Minutes, Well Worth It

Bill Burr Rants About Women and Football

10/1/2014

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Spot on. Well, mostly. There us no way woman are taking over the NFL. The whole pink during breast cancer awareness month is nothing more than a money grab. If you think all the money from 6 million pink NFL products is going to cancer research then you have a screw loose. Regardless, it looks good in the eyes of the public and makes it look like they actually give a shit about their female fan base. If that were the case we wouldn't have had to wait until the second video leak for an appropriate Ray Rice suspension. And let's be honest, I don't give a shit if you parade them out in leotards, I am watching the sport no matter what. As evidence of that, I watched an entire Buccaneers game last week. An all pink jersey would be a welcome change to those travesties. Please tell me someone got fired for designing that.

He's dead on about a woman's inability to do nothing. For males there are about 20 Sundays a year that are off limits. Generally, as a gender, we are awful at planning. However, every September through January you can bank on me having plans on Sunday. My plans include beer, food, gluttony, and televisions. Might be home. Might be at a bar. Just know I am busy. Women think weekends are a time to get things done. Most people work Monday through Friday. For men, that leaves 2 days a week where we are allowed to do nothing. For females, that leaves 2 days a week that they are allowed to do everything. For women, they treat Sundays as if the world is their oyster. For men, oysters are basically the only thing they don't want to eat on Sunday.

He is absolutely right about women not being able to be happy. Sure, a woman can generally be  happy person. However, they constantly need something to be wrong. I will be the first to say the female brain is layers and layers and layers more complex than the male brain. Notice I didn't say rational, I said more complex. The female brain is so complex that is can't comprehend how simple the male brain is. Women tend to over think our thought process. They can't understand how we can stare blankly at a television screen with a beer in our hand, and a chicken wing in our gullet for the better part of 24 hours and be content.

100% true that women don't want their own shit. They want to take ours. WNBA was a perfect example. I know many a female NBA fans, and not a single WNBA fan. I have always made the claim that men are undoubtedly better at 2 things, sports and comedy. Women will argue that to their death. However, go ahead ask them who their favorite athlete and their favorite comedian is. If you asked a women who her top 5 favorite comedians were chances are she would say 4 dudes and Chelsea Handler. All women have a homoerotic fixation with Chelsea Handler. Newsflash, If you gave the cast of 'Big Bang Theory' a Mexican midget assistant even they would be funny.
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