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Two Minutes, Well Worth It

Blues' Robby Fabbri Tested The Limits Of His Groin To Stay Onsides

4/22/2016

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Robby Fabbri just did the splits to stay onside. Incredible. #stlblues pic.twitter.com/pfBJt2umxu

— Cristiano Simonetta (@CMS_74_) April 22, 2016

Here is the easy answer:

This is just what playoff hockey is about. Testing your physical and mental limits for the benefit of the team. Robby Fabbri damn near split his scrotum down the middle because he had no choice. Probably didn't even think about the fact that he didn't stretch enough before the game. His instincts took over, and when the ultimate goal is the Stanley Cup your instincts don't give a shit about your hesitancy to put the health of your groin at risk. This play could have possibly resulted in a goal that was the difference between winning and losing, and Robby Fabbri isn't going to be the guy that indirectly cost his team the game with one untimely whistle.

Here is my answer: 

​Robby Fabbri absolutely refuses to be the reason that his team has to sit through another offsides review/challenge/re-challenge of the previous challenge. He'll stop at nothing to make sure the game moves smoothly. On the off chance that his particular play resulted in a goal, he wasn't going to be the one responsible for a half hour of momentum killing monotony. The ultimate motivator for him ignoring his uneasiness in the yoga studio was the thought of standing at the bench with his eyes glazing over as all his teammates secretly wondered if he did enough to get back onsides. Of all the times he has played Twister he has never even attempted to be this flexible, but the funny thing about Twister is that there's not a team of grown men depending on you to give up your genitals to save them from the discretion of the officials. The challenge system has been so goddamn insufferable this postseason that the only thing I can do to ease my mind is convince myself that the players are actively doing all they can to avoid it. You know, while still focusing on competing against the world's best skaters for the most difficult trophy to win in sports.
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