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Two Minutes, Well Worth It

Brazil Got Knocked Out Of The Copa America Tournament On A Blatant Handball, But I Can't Bring Myself To Care

6/13/2016

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Usually in this situation I would love nothing more to criticize the referees. They quite obviously are deserving of more scrutiny considering a call this bad happened during an international soccer game and they have (to this point) lived to tell the tale. With what I know about South America's unbridled passion for footy, leaving the stadium following a screwup this detrimental is nothing if not death defying. I don't know where these referees live, but if it's not the United States then they should forget about reds and yellows, and focus on getting their green card. The cliche thing to say would be "you had one job", but in a game like soccer - where game deciding plays are few and far between - these officials honestly didn't have more than a couple instances in which their ability to do their job was absolutely crucial. Safe to say that during their one shot, one opportunity to maintain the integrity of the game they were too busy vomiting their mom's metaphorical spaghetti on their proverbial sweater, and they deserve to face the music for that.

Fortunately for them, I won't be the one singing the tune. Not because I don't think officials need to be held accountable, but because Brazil is far too accomplished of a team for me to give a shit. It's like what the Patriots are facing for DeflateGate. I know the NFL is sticking it in dry, but I am turning a blind eye faster than Bill Cosby's personal assistant because Tom Brady has four SuperBowls. You know who feels bad for the Yankees when the umpires bomb a call in the Bronx? Absolutely fucking no one. Remember when everyone was waxing themselves off to the Warriors winning ways? You know why there has been some kick back during the playoffs? Because successful franchises don't get sympathy. That goes for every sports team from Alaska to Timbuktu. Sorry Brazil, but if you are as good as the entirety of your country claims you are then one unearned goal by Peru shouldn't have been enough to make you pack up your pride and send you southward. You want people to feel bad for you then take notes from the Home Of The Brave, and start playing a brand of soccer that will land you free of expectations. 

​P.S. The hand by the back immediately after swatting in the eventual game winning goal was an A+ 
effort in gamesmanship by this Peruvian...
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