UNSPORTSMANLIKE CONDUCT
  • Blog
  • About
  • Contact
  • Privacy Policy
UNSPORTSMANLIKE CONDUCT
Two Minutes, Well Worth It

Brent Burns Wants A Pet Tiger But His Wife Won't Let Him Have One Because Women Are Dream Killers

7/8/2015

0 Comments

 
Picture
SportsNet-  Brent Burns has two passions: animals and the military.

“So I don’t know if I’ll be working at the zoo or get into the National Guard,” the winger-turned-defenceman said of life after hockey.



“I’ve always been a big animal guy. Reptiles came later. When I started playing in the NHL, I hated reptiles—they creeped me out. But getting a cat or a dog, you need to be with them all the time, and we go on the road all the time so I couldn’t do it.

"But reptiles, you can throw 100 crickets in there and they're fine for a long road trip. So that’s how my passion for them grew slowly. Snakes took a while. I’d have oven mitts on when I handled them for six, seven months. Lizards I was easier with. I started with lizards and then went to snakes.

"I’d have a tiger if my wife would let me, but she kiboshed that.”



Sigggggh, woman. Sure, owning a tiger is probably a bad idea. Regardless of how much fun it is at the beginning, there is probably only one way that ends, and that's in someone ending up seriously injured or dead. So yeah, as is almost always the case, Brent Burns wife is probably right to shut down his dream of having a pet tiger. However, what the hell is the point of being a pro athlete if you can't even have the upper hand in your relationship? Getting paid million upon millions of dollars to play a kid's game grants you many things, and one of those should be the right to make your own terrible decisions. After all, you can always get another wife, but how many times are you going to have the opportunity to purchase a ferocious apex predator? 

She knew who she was marrying. She knew her husband was a lunatic that traveled around with snakes and lizards. If anything she should be encouraging this behavior not nipping it in the bud. Telling your significant other to stop being themselves is the easiest way to breed contempt in a relationship. Yeah, most men just want man caves and alone time, but Brent Burns isn't most men. You don't housebreak someone that eclectic, at least not for an extended period of time. Tell your husband he can't have a tiger and next thing you know he's fucking some 'National Geographic' cover model while playing amongst a group of volatile land mammals. To do extraordinary signs you have to ignore the people that tell you 'no'. Sure, there is a strong possibility that his wife is right. However, there was a strong possibility that Brent Burns' career would flame out before he made it to the pros and he would be cleaning up elephant poop at a zookeeper. Sometimes you just got to go with your gut.

P.S. A group of tigers is actually called an 'ambush' as if there weren't already enough warning signs. 
Picture
0 Comments



Leave a Reply.

    Categories

    All
    Dumbest-of-the-stupid
    Footy Fisticuffs Etc
    Hardball
    Hoops
    Jersey's Team
    Pigskin
    Pop Cultured
    Puck
    Scarlet-knights
    Who Dat Nation

    Archives

    January 2020
    December 2019
    November 2019
    October 2019
    August 2019
    July 2019
    June 2019
    May 2019
    April 2019
    March 2019
    February 2019
    January 2019
    December 2018
    November 2018
    October 2018
    September 2018
    August 2018
    July 2018
    June 2018
    May 2018
    April 2018
    March 2018
    February 2018
    January 2018
    December 2017
    November 2017
    October 2017
    September 2017
    August 2017
    July 2017
    June 2017
    May 2017
    April 2017
    March 2017
    February 2017
    January 2017
    December 2016
    November 2016
    October 2016
    September 2016
    August 2016
    July 2016
    June 2016
    May 2016
    April 2016
    March 2016
    February 2016
    January 2016
    December 2015
    November 2015
    October 2015
    September 2015
    August 2015
    July 2015
    June 2015
    May 2015
    April 2015
    March 2015
    February 2015
    January 2015
    December 2014
    November 2014
    October 2014
    September 2014

    RSS Feed

Powered by Create your own unique website with customizable templates.
  • Blog
  • About
  • Contact
  • Privacy Policy