Breshad Perriman Lost 4 Pounds By Shaving His Dreads, But Who's The Real Loser Here?

New seasons... New beginnings! #baldlife lol pic.twitter.com/5m3kWmMH6T

— Breshad Perriman (@B_Perriman11) July 21, 2016

LBS-  Breshad Perriman cut his signature dreadlocks last month, and the resulting effect was a noticeable loss in weight.

“I feel much lighter,” Perriman told ESPN’s Jamison Hensley. “Once I cut it, I weighed myself, and I lost three or four pounds. It was crazy.”



​This story - much like every all-too-rare story in which an athlete loses so much as a handful of weight without changing his/her diet or stepping foot in a gym - has one distinct loser. I think you know where I am headed with this. That's right. It's the man, the myth, the lard-ass...

Now obviously Eddie Lacy slimmed down over this past offseason, but can you imagine how many times he could have saved himself an earful with an instantaneous drop in weight? Look at that big ole head of his. If a scrawny wide receiver shaved 4 pounds of hair off his skull then Eddie Lacy had to have at least 6-7 excess pounds of braids dragging from his formerly peach-shaped frame. I can only imagine he would have gladly traded those in for some peace, quiet, and an extra side order of lo mein when his position coach was breathing down his dreads after yet another disappointing weigh in. There is no shortage of times in which Eddie Lacy would have welcomed a buzz cut after a Kirstie Alley-esque ballooning. He clearly took more verbal abuse than he had to by not scalping himself free of one less tongue lashing. No doubt he could have snuck one more week of binge eating leftover P.F. Chang's past Mike McCarthy when all eyes were on that all to important scale reading. I am glad that Breshad Perriman is finally embracing the beauty of the #baldlife, but shame on him for incidentally showing Eddie Lacy how to tiptoe around scrutiny as a chunky halfback only after he actually put real effort into shedding his baby (back ribs) fat.