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Two Minutes, Well Worth It

Brian Kelly Says Notre Dame Has The Dumbest Players In The Country, Or That's What I Heard At Least

6/13/2015

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SI-  “I think we recognized that all of my football players are at-risk—all of them—really," he told the paper. "Honestly, I don’t know that any of our players would get into the school by themselves right now with the academic standards the way they are. Maybe one or two of our players that are on scholarship.

“So making sure that with the rigors that we put them in—playing on the road, playing night games, getting home at 4 o’clock in the morning, all of the demands that we place on them relative to the academics and going into an incredibly competitive academic classroom every day—we recognize this is a different group."




Yikes, some things might be better left unsaid Brian. Maybe leave your players academic standing to  our imaginations? I don't really think that anyone thought that the Notre Dame was producing a bunch of doctors and lawyers (other then their entitled, pretentious fanbase), but it's better to leave that to perception than make it a reality. As far as I am concerned Notre Dame has the dumbest players in the nation. You don't come out and say your whole team is dumb unless they are reallllllly, reallllly dumb. It's like when you put on weight. You don't admit that you gained a little weight if you only gained a little weight. It's when you pack on 20+ that you really have to start mentioning it before others do first. Brian Kelly isn't saying his players are stupid unless their stupidity surpasses the bounds of normal college athlete stupidity. He's not telling the world about his player's intelligence unless he is scared that they might show the world their lack of it just by walking the streets in the offseason. 

What was that last paragraph even about? Like, what was the topic sentence? Was there a closing sentence? It just sounded like a bunch of supporting arguments that weren't really supporting any idea. It's like Brian Kelly game out and said "yup, my football roster is borderline retarded, but let me tell you why it makes sense that they are retarded". I've read it 4 times now I can't make total sense of it. It's like he just threw shit against the wall to see what would stick. "Uhh, rigors, yeah that's a good word. Hmm, demands, yup. Make sure I fit 4AM in there too, can't forget that". In reality what did he actually say? That his team play road games and night games? Uhhh, I think almost all college athletes face the same 'hardships'. That doesn't mean that every head coach feels the need to come out to media and explain why their roster is full of half wits. Whoever said honesty is the best policy is a jackass, and Brian Kelly just adhered to everyone of their principles. I'm not saying I think Division 1 football is full of Rhodes Scholars, but now I KNOW Notre Dame isn't, and that brings a smile to my face.

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