I am not going to lie to you, this one hurts. Brain Urlacher brought a lot of credibility to our people, and he just up without explanation. I used to like Brian Urlacher. How could you not? Tough as nails on the field. Engaging personality off of it. He was like the perfect athlete, and more importantly, the perfect bald athlete. By getting hair plugs Brian Urlacher just stomped on the adoration afforded to him by myself and the rest of the follically challenged community, literally in the blink of an eye. Other than black people, whose baldness society accepts, who do we have left? Jason Statham for looks? Larry David for sense of humor? The numbers are dwindling. Our reputation is taking a massive hit, and for NO good reason. Take a look at the Brian Urlacher we all know and love....
That is one good looking son of a bitch. He just looks like a professional football player. He looks like he could be a member of the SWAT team. I would trust that guy to go to war for me, and I am not talking about just on the football field. This new, disgraced version of Brian Urlacher, however...
He looks like an accountant that spends far too much time in his home gym. He looks like he should be patrolling the streets of Manitowoc, Wisconsin setting people up for murder. I wouldn't want that guy out there fighting for our freedoms. He can't even fight against the scrutiny one faces for being bald.
It's not even that Brian Urlacher decided to have hair, it's that he went out of his way to get it. Hair restoration? HAIR RESTORATION!?! It's one thing if he just grew his hair out to see what it would look like, even I have done that. But for a man as confident as Brian Urlacher to besmirch his own appearance by seeking out an actual surgical procedure? He's essentially saying that it's better to be good looking guy with hair than a GREAT looking guy without it. There is no one on his planet that can convince me that Urlacher with hair is hotter than Urlacher without, and I have to admit, his leniency in adhering to societal norms makes me think less of him as a person.
Tell 'em Larry!
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