Bruce Arians Is Above Sideline Video, If He Does Say So Himself

YardBarker- Arians, who tested out sideline video in the Cardinals' first preseason game, doesn’t like it at all.

“It helps bad coaches,” Arians told Arizona Central of the in-game video use.”

“Defensively, you spend a lot of hours and time on a blitz and a guy can sit there, watch it on tape, show it to his guys and fix it in the first quarter. That’s not what it’s all about.”



What? Oh, you thought Bruce Arians was going to be that old guy that just completely denounces technology because he doesn't understand it? C'mon, have you seen his Kangol hat? That man is the coolest customer not in the frozen food aisle. He totally comprehends the benefits that handheld electronics have provided us, he's just aware that they haven't provided him the same benefits. Don't be silly. Of course he knows how to use them, he's just too damn good for them.

There's nothing that a video replay can tell Bruce Arians that his eyes already haven't. Who needs gigabytes when you've got brain power? All those other inferior coaches maybe, but Bruce Arians 20/20 vision makes high definition look like the scrambled picture on a fattest of backed televisions. He's not the old man yelling at the cloud, he's the old man condescendingly glaring at the cloud like he already knows it's next move. Mid-game adjustments? He had those built into the game plan two weeks ago! I bet he only has DVR because of his wife, but refuses to use it because he values the promptness and planning required to watch a show when it airs. Probably hasn't used the rewind one button a single time because you should never lose focus if you truly care about something. Sure, he comprehends the concept of convenience, he just thinks it's for weak minded nancies that don't value the preparation that should be necessary to coach at the highest level. Bruce Arians doesn't need to stick his head up a bull's ass to get a good look at a t-bone steak, because he's already bred that bull to produce strictly filets since day one. You can keep your appliances, because the truest student of the game has a mind that's hardwired to understand football better than any machine-reliant man ever could.