Buckle Your Seatbelts, Miko Grimes Is About To Take You On the Ride Of A Lifetime!

all the kobe fans left my mentions when i brought up shaq and lebron making it to 6 finals in a row. yall so caught up in the hype man.

— Miko Grimes (@iHeartMiko) July 11, 2016

i wish i would be a Laker fan supporting the ONE PLAYER nobody wanted to play with & he took all that money to put the team in the dumpster!

— Miko Grimes (@iHeartMiko) July 11, 2016

kobe fans are different. they remind me of ryan tannehill fans. both are super stupid but at least kobe was a baller. tannehill is a bum!

— Miko Grimes (@iHeartMiko) July 11, 2016

being a tannehill fan is like being an eric snow fan when iverson was on the team. i dont get it. he doesnt do ANYTHING dope! Nothing!

— Miko Grimes (@iHeartMiko) July 11, 2016

u got juice, suh, grimes, cameron, wake, miller, jones, verner, pouncey, etc but ur fav player is ryan tannehill. thats shit is a joke!

— Miko Grimes (@iHeartMiko) July 11, 2016

i say all that to say this.... Go Bucs!!!! □□□

— Miko Grimes (@iHeartMiko) July 11, 2016

wish we played the shitty ass dolphins this yr. if bae picked #17 & handed me the ball id throw it back to him! #WorthlessINT #NotOnMyWall□□

— Miko Grimes (@iHeartMiko) July 11, 2016

I cant make this shit up!□Kobe put the lakers franchise in the dumpster! He snitched on Shaq, refused to pass & wanted no other star. □□□□□□

— Miko Grimes (@iHeartMiko) July 11, 2016

The dolphins fucking stink! They will never be great so long as Steven Ross is the owner, Tannenbaum is the gm, and Tannehill is the qb!□□□

— Miko Grimes (@iHeartMiko) July 11, 2016

My husband was gonna retire if he stayed with the dolphins so i talked him out of it and got him out of his contract. Now we got Jameis!□□

— Miko Grimes (@iHeartMiko) July 11, 2016

No way i was gonna let him retire with a bum at qb, gm and owner! No fucking way! We will go out on a high with a REAL qb, not a wr at qb!

— Miko Grimes (@iHeartMiko) July 11, 2016

Now he's happy again! He cant wait to play! He has hope! He has a real gm! A real owner! A real qb! Anything is possible!

— Miko Grimes (@iHeartMiko) July 11, 2016

So be mad all u want but this is my husband's career and he deserves to be happy and its my job as his manager to make sure he's happy!

— Miko Grimes (@iHeartMiko) July 11, 2016

None of yall are gonna suck his dick after a loss so i dont give a shit if yall mad! Im tryna put a smile on his face. He lost that in Miami

— Miko Grimes (@iHeartMiko) July 11, 2016

Gotta respect ross for keeping his jew buddies employed but did he not see how tannenbaum put the jets in the dumpster w/that sanchez deal?□

— Miko Grimes (@iHeartMiko) July 11, 2016

I keep forgetting im the realest football wife yall ever met so a lot of this shit yall hearing for the 1st time. Please forgive me.

— Miko Grimes (@iHeartMiko) July 11, 2016

U wont hear any of this while we're in tampa. Im letting coach koetter and smith do their thing. The dolphins tried to fuck us over so....□□

— Miko Grimes (@iHeartMiko) July 11, 2016

People really think i care about their feelings. Like they really think im gonna sympathize. Im rude as fuck so why do u think id care?□

— Miko Grimes (@iHeartMiko) July 11, 2016

Stay off twitter if ur sensitive. Its not for u. Stay on facebook, where feelings matter. U will get these bars if u hop in my mentions.

— Miko Grimes (@iHeartMiko) July 11, 2016

America is so fucking soft! No wonder we're able to fake terrorist attacks (which are nothing but genocide on our own ppl) & yall believe it

— Miko Grimes (@iHeartMiko) July 11, 2016

People always wanna own words and fake react to someone using words in a way THEY FEEL its offensive. Grow the fuck up!

— Miko Grimes (@iHeartMiko) July 11, 2016

U think im gonna tweet racist remarks in an attempt to offend TWO PEOPLE? Lmao!! Why would i? Why would i want to offend "jewish" ppl?□

— Miko Grimes (@iHeartMiko) July 11, 2016

Yall want me to be the bad guy so bad. And im cool with that. But dont call me a racist u ignorant fucks! Thats one thing im not.

— Miko Grimes (@iHeartMiko) July 11, 2016

Lets see how long it takes for yall fake reaction to end. I say noon. Its almost 10am in LA. Lets see if yall still offended in 2hrs.□□□

— Miko Grimes (@iHeartMiko) July 11, 2016

Im gaining followers but im a racist. □□□□Gotta love america! Everybody wanna be offended but nobody wanna unfollow. Yall really are SICK!□

— Miko Grimes (@iHeartMiko) July 11, 2016

Miko Grimes twitter feed, ladies and gentleman! It's like the herpes simplex virus. You never know when an outbreak is coming, but it promises to get ugly quickly when it does. And you know what, I am not going to argue with a damn thing she said in that long winded, opinion ridden rant she just went on. Not because they aren't plenty of things to refute, but because I am lost somewhere inside the mental maze I just tried to follow her through. Seriously, you can say any number of things about her lack of a filter and her ridiculously frenetic thought process, but the one thing she is 100% right about is that she's a GREAT follow.

I honestly feel like I just got off 'Space Mountain' because that diatribe had all the twists and turns of a roller coaster, but I couldnt possibly see what was coming next. Firing out the gate with the Shaq/Kobe debate? Plunging to the depths of Ryan Tannehill's career? Shooting all the way up to the peak of the Eric Snow-capped mountains of Iverson's heyday? A huge drop back down to Kobe? A couple of nauseating loopdy loops with the Dolphins front office? A minor dip into anti-Semitism? A lonnnng climb back up to the high road, followed by an immediate free fall into genocidal conspiracy theories? Decelerating back into the station with the most disingenuous non-apolegetic apology of all time? That ride was AWESOME! I almost wish I could go on it again, but I know the second time around won't be nearly as exhilarating as the first. Mike Grimes might be a spousal terror when you're an aging corner on the downside of your career, but she's a social media treasure for everyone whose finances aren't directly linked to her (in)ability to shut the fuck up.