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Two Minutes, Well Worth It

California On The Brink Of Filling Our Faucets With Poo Water Because Of The Drought

5/26/2015

2 Comments

 
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Independent- Californians are facing the prospect of eating their own faeces with the treatment of sewage into drinking water gaining appeal as the drought lingers.

The idea comes with a palpable 'yuck factor', as the LA Times put it, but many scientists believe it can be safe and is a more efficient use for moderately treated sewage that is currently being flushed into the Pacific Ocean.

"That water is discharged into the ocean and lost forever," Tim Quinn, executive director of the Association of California Water Agencies, told the Times. "Yet it's probably the single largest source of water supply for California over the next quarter-century."

Several experts have asserted that if proper and thorough filtration is carried out to remove bacteria, treated sewage can pose no damaging health effects and even be cleaner than commercial bottled water.



Is there a worse omen in life than moving to California and being forced to drink your own shit 3 months later? You west coasters couldn't have given me a heads up? I would have loaded up a U-Haul strictly with barrels of tap water like Charlie Kelly and the gang selling gasoline out the back of an Astro van. 

I'll tell you what though, I don't care what the cleansing process is, if you think a bunch of poop water is touching these lips you are beside your mind. I will rent the use of my sinks to a homeless person before I think about gagging down someone else's ass juices. Showers will be a once a week occurrence and they will involve me dumping like 4 liter bottles of Smart Water on myself. Poop water is like your parent's marital bed, that shit is forever unclean. I would rather bath in the dirty water of a NYC hot dog vendor. Isn't water the primary ingredient in beer? Consider me an alcoholic. If I am going to knowingly put a bunch of harmful chemicals in my body I am at least catching a buzz off of them. A little cirrhosis of the liver and a few less years on this earth is a few less years that I have to worry about cleaning my dishes with the remnants of my neighbor's taco night. I think we all saw how drinking a bunch of urine turned out for Manny Pacquiao. That scrappy Filipino was the last glimmer of hope in terms of quenching your thirst by way of your own porcelain throne and Floyd whooped his frail, piss drinking ass. If the only water that is coming through these pipes is coming directly from someone else's pipes then all I have to say is h2-NO. After all, you don't shit where you eat...or eat where you shit...or eat your own shit. Basically just avoid any combination of the two. 
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Bullshit it does...
2 Comments
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