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Call The Doctor: Chandler Parsons Is Experiencing Career Threatening Levels Of Butthurt

7/9/2015

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BSO- “This is something that I’ve never seen in my career, and I know that it doesn’t happen very often,” Parsons told ESPN.com on Thursday. “When a man gives you his word and an organization his word, especially when that organization put in so much effort and I walked him through this process and was very, very open and willing to work with him, it’s just very unethical and disrespectful.”

“He wasn’t ready to be a franchise player. He was scared,” Parsons said. “He was scared to take the next step in his career. There was no other reason other than that he was comfortable and he has friendships there. How you make a business decision like that is beyond me. How you ignore an owner like Mark who is in your hometown just waiting for a chance to talk to you is beyond me. I don’t think he made a mistake. I think he’ll be good in L.A. He’s got a good team, he’s got a great point guard, he’s got Blake, but I think he could have been a superstar in Dallas. He could have been the man in Dallas. Never in a million years did I think that this was even a possibility. I’ll still be friends with him, but I can’t get over the way that he’s put our entire franchise in jeopardy. It’s normal to get cold feet. It’s normal to get second thoughts, but you don’t back out of a commitment of this much magnitude this late in the game and just leave us high and dry.”



Somebody call WHINE-1-1! Were going to need a bigger whambulance! I said he is butthurt, but Chandler Parsons is like two more tears away from being butt injured. Might as well surgically close up those tear ducts, that vagina, and slap an ice pack on that ass while he's already recovering from injury. 

Hey, I get it. Chandler feels slighted. He probably should. His team just went from a surefire playoff team to a team that is about to intentionally tank the season. That will put any professional athlete in a bad mood. However, let's not act like Chandler Parsons and DeAndre Jordan had some long standing bond when DJ stabbed him and the Mavericks organization in the back. They had known each other for like a week. The extend of their bonding was going clubbing out on Los Angeles and going out to dinner in Dallas. If that's all it takes to create a loyal friendship then I can't fucking stand half my 'friends'. So as disrespectful as it is for DeAndre Jordan to go back on his word literally in the 11th hour, it is just as disrespectful for Chandler Parsons to assassinate his character simply because his team sucks now. With that said, let's dive into some of the points made by the injured guy on the non-playoff team...

-“This is something that I’ve never seen in my career, and I know that it doesn’t happen very often. When a man gives you his word and an organization his word, especially when that organization put in so much effort and I walked him through this process and was very, very open and willing to work with him, it’s just very unethical and disrespectful.”

Oh, so you only pay attention when things effect you, huh Chandler? Be more selfish dude. The only thing that is unprecedented about this change of heart is that DJ is a max player and he waited 5 days to reconsider. This exact situation has happened before. Carlos Boozer, Antonio McDyess, etc. Just because it effects you all of the sudden it's a crime against humanity?

-"He wasn’t ready to be a franchise player. He was scared, He was scared to take the next step in his career."

Would DJ have had a bigger role in Dallas? Yes....until they realized that he is incapable of playing a bigger offensive role than he has been playing. The fact of the matter is DeAndre Jordan is a double-double guy that's probably going to average more rebounds than points, protect the rim, and block some shots in the process. He doesn't have the potential to develop into franchise offensive player. That's not an opinion, it's a fact. The decision to stay in Los Angeles puts him in the position to be a dominant player on one of the best teams in the Western Conference. Going to a worse team in Dallas and being given too many responsibilities is only the 'next' step if that step is being taken backwards.

-"There was no other reason other than that he was comfortable and he has friendships there. How you make a business decision like that is beyond me."

Wait, so Chandler Parsons doesn't understand why a person would make a business decision that would net them more money, while keeping them in a comfortable situation around people they have good relationships with? Oh, okay. Gotcha.

- I think he’ll be good in L.A. He’s got a good team, he’s got a great point guard, he’s got Blake, but I think he could have been a superstar in Dallas. He could have been the man in Dallas. Never in a million years did I think that this was even a possibility.

To say that DeAndre will be good in Los Angeles is completely disingenuous considering he has already been great in Los Angeles. Could he have been the man in Dallas? I doubt it. In fact I think giving DeAndre a bigger role is the easiest way for his contract to become a failure. For Chandler Parsons not to think it was a possibility that DJ would back out of a VERBAL agreement, when the other team in question was all but guaranteed to sign him at the beginning of the offseason is subjective blindness. You're the one that was going on and on about 'business decisions' Chandler. No business contract has ever been signed with words or a handshake.  

Once again Parsons, I am sorry it had to go this way, but if all it takes is a few days of hanging out for you to have a new best friend then you are sure to find a new one soon. Rest that knee and we'll see you when the season starts. Just try not to get too many tears on the hardwood.

deandre jordan was like pic.twitter.com/ZWYfDksuSk

— Meninist (@MeninistTweet) July 9, 2015

Hahaha these memes are awesome #nba #freeagency #markcuban #deandrejordan #mavs #clippers #changeofheart

A photo posted by Warren Bowman (@the_real_bowman) on Jul 9, 2015 at 8:37am PDT

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