Carolina BBQ'd: Cam Newton Can't Read…..A Defense

Have you been a victim of football fraud? Have you been bamboozled by a faux Superman? Would you rather have Clark Kent at quarterback? Does your signal caller look like Floyd Mayweather trying to read a defense? Did you not heed my warnings? Cam Newton reminds me of a Gucci bag you buy on Canal St. Looks great from the outside, but it's the inside that isn't up to par. Oh, the nice Indian man selling designer bags on the corner didn't give you a receipt? No returns. No refunds. No buybacks. You can keep your poorly composed quarterback. 

I told you. I told Cam. One false step and Junya Galette was putting him in a body bag. While Scam may still be standing upright, you may consider this the eulogy of his dignity. His pride is in some morgue somewhere waiting to be identified. They are still trying to wipe the cleat prints off of it. Cameron Jordan and 'The Beard' were all over Newton like flies on shit. That analogy is almost too literal. Scam was shit personified last night. When the pass rush wasn't putting him on his back (where he belongs) he was firing passes 30 feet over his receivers' heads. Did anyone tell him that he can throw to people other than Kelvin Benjamin?

Speaking of Kelvin, did anyone tell him that the combine is over? That looked like some 4.61 speed to me. Is he saving up the good stuff for when they play in NOLA? Bet he regrets tanking the forty to play with Scam now. Benjamin is 6'6 and could barely get a finger on most of those passes. Bold strategy attacking #28. Didn't anyone tell you that's the 'No Fly Zone'? You haven't earned those wings yet Benjy. In fact, last night it looked like those wings got clipped. Keenan Lewis was so far in Benjamin's head that the one time he got bored with covering him, he dropped a touchdown pass.

As for Drew Brees, he was COD. Cash on delivery baby. The final score was 28-10 and should have been 42-10. If not for two freakish turnovers on the first 2 drives, the Saints' starters could have been scratching their balls on the bench by the 3rd quarter. I tried to tell people. No one wanted to listen. Mark Ingram is the truth. I'm not sure what obstacles Ingram encountered in his youth, but I am pretty sure he is still trying to run over, around and through them. He runs like he is mad at the world. You give him the carries and he will get you the yards, and probably put a few people in the hospital. Keep riding that bull hot, because he is the secret to the Saints' success. Jimmy is back. Ya know, as long as he doesn't break his neck headbutting benches. Seemed he was in pretty good health when he hurdled a lunging Roman Harper like he was a third grader (still love ya Harp).

If that is the pass rush the Saints intend on marching out on the field the rest of the year then I better start planning the parade. The defense looks revived. Making tackles. Causing turnovers. It is exactly what we thought we would be getting when the season opened. There was even a Patrick Robinson sighting! I almost felt bad for Scam Newton on the sack fumble. There was only one way that play was going to end. I'm pretty sure I saw Galette foaming from the mouth pre-snap.

Three home games coming up, and this team is back where it belongs. In first place in the NFC South. They are what you would consider a 'good' .500. Let's rinse the jerseys off and repeat the same performance next week. There is meaningful football to be played in January.

Is it weird to u @adamschefter (or anyone else) that the aints rt'd this? lol pic.twitter.com/hsZ15nasGu

— DeAngelo Williams (@DeAngeloRB) October 27, 2014

DeAngelo Williams. The leaky faucet. The only running back those gotten more yards out of his mouth than his legs. How's that foot taste? Ice up son.