Cat Ownership Being Linked To Schizophrenia Is The Least Surprising Thing You'll Hear Today

Independent- Scientists have discovered a link between people who own cats and the development of mental illnesses, including schizophrenia, and believe a parasite may be to blame.

In a study published in the journal 'Schizophrenia Research', experts wrote that cat ownership is “significantly more common” in families where a child is later diagnosed with "schizophrenia or another serious mental illness”, the Huffington Post reported.

By analysing a previously unused questionnaire of from 1982 filled in by 2,125 families that belonged to the National Institute of Mental Illness, scientists discovered that 50.6 per cent of people who developed schizophrenia owned a cat in childhood. These results were similar to two other studies in the 1990s, experts said.

And while the overall instance of schizophrenia from the studyis low, scientists will now attempt to understand why this link exists. However, researchers believe that Toxoplasma gondii, a single-cell parasite present in some cats, may be the cause.



People with cats are more likely to develop schizophrenia? Why, you don't say? You know when you date a girl that experiences mood swings? And you are with her long enough that the up and down nature of her emotions starts to have an affect on your attitude? It's the same thing with a cat. When you have the most schizophrenic animal in the world around every day it's bound to rub off on you, Cats are either cuddling up against your leg or using it as a scratching post. They are either trying desperately to get your attention or sneaking up behind you and scaring the shit out of you. They are either laying around doing nothing all day, or they won't sit still for two seconds. All they do is think of new personalities to embrace. They are the most unpredictable little bastards on the planet. I have had drunken bowel movements that were more consistent than cats. Just when you think they can't be anymore annoying you go to the one place where they can't bother you and you have to deal with the worst smell on earth. A fucking litter box. I swear to God that thing couldn't smell worse if it was full of actual human shit. I would rather just have a huge port-a-potty in the middle of my apartment then deal with a litter box in my bathroom. Only a cat could ruin the best 5-10 minutes of every day without actually being there. Don't give me this 'parasite' nonsense. The only parasite responsible for the bi-polar nature of cat owners is the cat itself. Fucking things are just a leeches that suck the life out of their owners one knocked over picture at a time.

However, let's not get this whole cause and affect thing twisted. Most cat owners are single females. The most irrational and schizophrenic species of them all. You can't blame the cat for multiple personalities when the cat is a reflection of society's lack of desire to be around you. There is a reason single females get along with cats. They have far too much in common with them. If there is a single cell parasite that cats are dragging around with them then it's got to be estrogen.