LBS- Boston Celtics GM Danny Ainge may be the biggest Chipotle fan around. And he’s not about to let an E. Coli outbreak at some of their stores scare him away.
Ainge joined Toucher and Rich on 98.5 The Sports Hub in Boston Thursday, and one of the first things to come up was Ainge’s taste for the company’s burritos.
“The guys at the office refer to me as the ‘Jared of Chipotle,'” Ainge quipped, referring to Jared Fogle, the Subway spokesperson.
Ainge has been known to stop by the Chipotle in Waltham, Mass. nearby the team’s practice facility on a regular basis.
“It’s even better now; the lines are short!” Ainge said about the E. Coli problems.
“I’m there! I’ll eat there again today — I’m not worried about it! Those are my people. Those are my friends at Chipotle.”
Well that nickname, to put it mildly, could use some tweaking. Has Danny Ainge been living under a rock? I understand the premise, and I know that you can't go around frivolously changing your own nickname, but maybe it's time to distance yourself from all things 'Jared'. If the guys at the office are the ones constantly calling him that then he should abuse (no pun) his power to get new guys at the office. Shit, there are probably average, run-of-the-mill dudes named Jared that were sprinting down to the courthouse to change their name to 'Gerard' upon hearing that the sandwich diet dude was touching teeny boppers. Meanwhile, an NBA General Manager is on the radio openly slapping that scarlet letter right across his chest. Jared is no longer 'the Subway guy', so Danny Ainge saying he is the 'Jared of Chipotle' no longer makes him a rich, happy-go-lucky spokes person whose diet lacks variety. It makes him a creep by association.
Jared no longer triggers the thought of crappy lunch meat. It triggers the thought of child pornography. There's no if's, and's, or prepubescent butt's about it. There's not a single circumstance where I hear the name 'Jared' and doesn't send a little quiver down my spine. If I saw someone with a name tag that said 'Jared' I would probably drink at the other end of the bar. Calling yourself the 'Jared of Chipotle' is like wearing a coogi sweater to a holiday party and calling yourself 'the Bill Cosby of Christmas'. You don't want to be the Bill Cosby of anything just like you don't want to be the Jared of anything. Those names are officially off the market in terms of comparisons. Unless, of course, you want people to think that you don't belong within 1,000 yards of a school or a public park.
P.S. I love Chipotle, but anyone that eats it for every single meal might as well be named Jared, if you catch my drift.