Cory Schneider's Patriotic Pads Just Won The World Cup Of Hockey Before It Started
Unbiased opinion? Team USA really can't go wrong in terms of who they start in net during the World Cup of Hockey. Ben Bishop is the most physically imposing candidate, Jonathan Quick is the most accomplished candidate, and Cory Schneider is the most technically sound candidate. All in all, they are three of the best goaltenders in the universe who each have their own valid, distinct argument is to why they should be trusted with backstopping their country in international competition.
Biased opinion? Cory Schneider sitting on the bench behind ANY other mere mortal would be the most unAmerican thing to happen since Russia bought up all the PBR's. An injustice so extreme that it could only be considered self sabotage. A crime so egregiously against what this country stands for that it would inevitably lead to the next Civil War. Cory Schneider - after literally dragging an entire NHL team on his back for two years now - needs to be handed the reigns and entrusted with carrying the torch for the United States. Not just because he deserves the opportunity, but because the fate of the Free World is at stake.
After seeing these pads, I couldn't be more certain that subjectivity is going to win out here. You simply can't not pledge your allegiance to a man that has every one of the 50 states represented on the equipment by which he intends to defend what this nation holds most dear - it's own net. How could anyone else but the man that bears the flag which we so often salute be responsible for the sanctity of the scoreboard? A tear came to my eye when I saw these pads. A sense of pride to may cold, black heart. An erectness to my posture (amongst other things). If you didn't already think that Cory Schneider was the person to lead us into battle before then you're a flat out communist if you don't believe so now.
"And to this ginger, for which he stands..."
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