Dallas PD Has Put An End To The Investigation Of Ezekiel Elliott's Assault...Three Days After It Took Place

Official statement from DPD on Zeke Elliott case pic.twitter.com/4Yj7BN15zx

— Rebecca Lopez (@rlopezwfaa) July 19, 2017

First, a casual reminder of the aftermath...

Yeaaaaah, I'm not exactly sure it should be considered commendable, but I'll be damned if it's not impressive how much the fine folks of Dallas care about their football. Seriously, it's like they aren't even trying to mask that their moral compass has basically been replaced with a 'Make Some Noise'-O-Meter. 

Consider this, the goddamn police department put an end to an investigation regarding a physical assault that was at least partially caught on camera because the victim - who is likely trying to figure out how to eat through a straw - didn't pick up his home phone. Poor bastard is probably heading under the knife to get his face surgically reconstructed, and local law enforcement has deemed that the statue of limitations for justice in Cowboys related incidents is nothing more than an amount of unreturned missed calls that wouldn't even have his mother in a panic. While it's unbelievably shocking that the guy who was bleeding profusely out of his mouth just three days ago doesn't have his testimony at the tip of his tongue quite yet, I would think it would be wise to let him recharge his battery (literally and figuratively) before determining that he's unreachable. 

Unfortunately, intelligently-led, unbiased investigations are impossible when they take place in Texas and the culprit has a star stuck to the side of w his helmet. You play under Jerry Jones and know how to tot that rock then all you have to do is beat someone silent for the better part of a work week and you're free to go, my friend. I don't know how well that sits with a league that loves nothing more disciplinary action, but it's sure as shit a testament to the prioritization of patrolling the gridiron over patrolling the city. Realistically, some hush money more than likely exchanged hands, but I'm not even sure that it was necessary since that punch probably kept the victim's broken face muted until well after Dallas PD apparently felt this easily solvable case was better left cold.