Dan Le Batard Half Heartedly Agrees To Eat Human Poop If The Cavaliers Win The Championship

Dammit. God dammit. My rooting interest for the NBA finals has officially been compromised. How in the hell am I supposed to root against watching a grown man eat his co-hosts shit? Truth be told, I am not even sure how I feel about Le Batard. There are so any personalities on ESPN now that I start to get them mixed up. Based solely on my unreliable recollection I am going to say that I dislike Le Batard and his show 'Highly Questionable' where he basically just milks his father and his half assed use of the English language for all it's worth. However, it's really is more of a mild dislike in comparison to the actual disdain I have for people like Colin Cowherd. Alas, a man eating human shit is still a man eating human shit, and whether I like him or not that is funny EVERY TIME. If you think about it, that's a once and lifetime opportunity I can't either consciously or subconsciously cheer against. LeBron loses in the NBA finals like every other year, but you can bet your ass there will only be one time when you can watch Dan Le Batard take one bite of yesterday's dinner. 

Would I rather see this...

Or this...

That is the question.

How funny is it that marriage vs. eating human feces is a very real question? I got to say I think Dan made the right choice. Sure, he won't be able to look himself in the mirror for the foreseeable future. Sure, he probably won't be able to have a milkshake or chocolate ice cream ever again.  But at least he still has his freedom. As outlandish as it seems the Cavaliers still have a very real chance at winning a championship. This bet isn't just lip service to something that definitely won't happen. You eat shit you hate yourself. You get married you hate yourself and the person you are forced to wake up next to every single morning. You always take long term happiness and short term misery over short term happiness and long term misery. That's those economics principles coming in 
handy.

P.S. As sad as it sounds it's good to see a respected, relatively speaking, television personality with a real life job sit there and have a bunch of other people with real life jobs chant 'POOP!' at him over and over again. Really gives me hope for the future.