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Two Minutes, Well Worth It

Darnell Dockett Boycotting Subway Because Of Jared's Sex Scandal Is The Softest Blacklisting Ever 

8/20/2015

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Mann ain't no Sub way sandwich bih... Jared being trifling with kids. No I won't ever eat sun way again.. I'll just eat @wingstop instead!

— DARNELL DOCKETT (@ddockett) August 20, 2015
Ohhhhh shit, big bad Darnell Dockett isn't going to eat at the worst sandwich chain in the world because their spokesperson was a sexual predator. What a sacrifice! What a hero! I am over here not eating Subway sandwiches because of their stale bread and criminal lack of meat. Just avoiding Subway like the plague because their product tastes like it could probably give me cancer. Not Dockett, he's got a high moral standard to uphold. He may have a shitty taste in food, but he's got an excellent eye for ethics. 

Let's clear the air here. Subway blows. If people are going to stop eating at Subway, it's because they finally found some respect for themselves, not because of some fat turned skinny turned kinda fat creeper that endorsed the place for decades. We are in a safe space, right? Well, fuck it, I'll say it anyway. If the food is good I don't care how despicable the people associated with it are. Jersey Mike's could hire Jared as soon as he gets out of prison, plaster the face of all his victims on their bag and I would still happily eat there without a second thought. Not my kid, not my problem. I always have and always will maintain a distinct separation between my views on inappropriate sexual conduct and my views on food. Hell, I used to be a pizza connoisseur (still am) that lived in New Jersey, I have probably supported the Italian mafia more than the garbage collection industry. 

Uhhh, does Darnell Dockett get paid to advertise WingStop? Not really sure why he's treating a wing place like it's a viable substitute for a sub place. Furthermore, as much as I enjoy WingStop from time to time, it is NOT good enough to get child pornography immunity. It's probably not even good enough to get statutory rape immunity. Now, if we want to go the fast food route then I will gleefully say that nothing short of Jared having non-consensual sex with my hamburger will get me to stop eating In-N-Out. I will take my double double with a side of pedophilia as long as the fries are crispy and the shake is swirled. I just love food too goddamn much to let the actions of others affect what I choose to eat. Good for Darnell Dockett for taking a stand, but if he was eating Subway before this then his opinion of what's right and wrong was already compromised.  
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