Uproxx- “Johnny’s in love,” Sanders told cleveland.com at an NFL Network media availability Thursday. “And Johnny’s in love with something that’s crippling him right now. I understand it. And it upsets me that grownups don’t understand it. Because he feels as though this game don’t love him, the people in this game don’t love him, so the only thing that he associates with love is that thing that’s really inflicting a lot of pain on him and that’s his girlfriend.”
Do me a favor and pass me that towel so I can wipe the sweat from my brow. That take was so hot that Primetime had to do his patented tip toe touchdown dance over it to avoid burning himself. The biggest upset of all is that Deion said the word “love” five times in one quote about Johnny Manziel, and not once did he mention alcohol. Actually, the biggest leap that Deion took here wasn't even his attempt at blaming Johnny Football's girlfriend for all his problems, it was assuming that Johnny Football actually knows what love is. You know what love means to a perpetually drunk 23 year old millionaire? It means having a person that drives (literally and figuratively) him to drink, enables his stupidity, occasionally pushes him to the edge of physical assault, and constantly has filthy -most likely unprotected- sex with him. With the exception of the domestic abuse that sounds like every bad relationship a person in their early 20's has ever been a part of. You know why all the love has been lost between Manziel and the NFL? Because the NFL isn't blowing him or supporting his potential drug habit. Johnny will do anything for love, but he won't stop binge drinking. That's why he is about to be unemployed. Don’t get me wrong, high maintenance 22 year old girls can put a man's brain in the blender, but blaming one for Manziel’s multitude of issues is like blaming the drug dealer for a heroin addiction. I actually appreciate Deion’s dedication to originality, because there would be at least 15-20 different angles I would take on the career of Johnny Football before I came up with “Johnny is just desperate for love”. I'm sure this opinion will go over smoothly. Deion Sanders basically dumped a vat of misogyny into a pit full of feminists. His mentions are about to turn into a goddamn feeding frenzy. The guy that can’t go more than 12 hours without being photographed drunk in a bar is only in danger of losing his job because of a girl. A girl that alleges she was kidnapped and beaten by said guy. It almost feels disingenuous to describe that as "victim blaming". That's only victim blaming if victim blaming broke into Peyton Manning's HGH supply. I wonder if it ever crossed Deion’s mind that the only reason that "grown ups" (super weird for a grown ass man to use the term “grown ups”) don’t understand his opinion is because it’s the incoherent ramblings of a raving lunatic? I’ve seen better connections made on Craigslist. That’s the most non-sequential nonsense I have ever come across. In Deion Sanders mind Johnny Manziel is just the friend that is so desperate for a significant other that he will fall for any old person that comes along and accepts him for who he is. Too bad in this case it happened to be some crazy bitch who's apparently pouring the liquor down his throat, making him skip team meetings, and jeopardizing his future in professional football all by herself. If Primetime is right then Colleen Crowley is working harder to get Johnny out of football then Johnny is working to stay in football. Credit where credit is due though, because that part might actually be true.
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