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Two Minutes, Well Worth It

Denzel Washington FINALLY Admitted To Strangling Aretha Franklin

9/30/2016

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FoxNews- A Manhattan man named Denzel Washington took a plea deal Wednesday for strangling his mom — whose name is, wait for it, Aretha Franklin.

The altercation happened inside the mom’s apartment in a doorman building on West 93rd Street, according to the Manhattan criminal complaint.

“I am informed by Aretha Franklin,” the complaint says, “that she observed the defendant place his hands around her neck and apply pressure, thereby causing redness, bruising and substantial pain to her neck.”

The “American Gangster” star’s namesake copped a plea to harassment as a violation and was sentenced to a conditional discharge and an anger management program.



​At the risk of sounding like I am promoting domestic violence I am just going to say what everyone is thinking - she had it coming. I am not endorsing Denzel Washington trying to strangle the air out of Aretha Franklin's lungs, but I am also not going to pretend I don't understand his frustrations. She grew up named after a transcendent legend, and she STILL consciously subjected her son to the same fate? Getting teased in school. Having everything you do get magnified simply because of your name. Explaining to every single person you meet that - yes - your name is actually the exact same as one of the most accomplished public figures in history. Dealing with all the corny, forced jokes and "obligatory" references to a career that isn't yours? Aretha experienced all of that shit and still decided that she wanted her child to go through it too? Do we need anymore signs that she's an unfit parent? Of course this kid needs anger management. He was raised by someone that projected her anger towards her parents onto her child, and - in doing so - sentenced him to a lifelong inconvenience before he was even out of her womb. I'll admit, choking a bitch is a little excessive, but - at the very least - she deserved a firm shaking for being a bitter asshole who made a viral story like this possible with her vengeful naming process. 
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