Derek Stepan And His Hurt Butt Shot John Hynes First Game Winning Puck Over The Glass

Fire&Ice- After Stempniak's shot bounced back out of the net, Rangers center Derek Stepan, who was the lone defender back on the 2-on-1 rush, turned and flipped it up into the netting behind the goal, probably in frustration, and it fell into the stands where a female fan ended up with it.

“So, I grabbed a puck from the score box and found the girl behind the net and asked her to switch pucks by the Zamboni doors and she just switched pucks,” Greene explained. “So, that was nice of her.”

Greene then presented the puck to Hynes in the postgame locker room.

“It feels great,” Hynes said of getting his first win. “I am really happy for the team. I feel like we've gone through a lot of changes since training camp. I really credit the players' attitudes every day. They have worked to get better and it is gratifying for our guys to get a win after all of their hard work.”

Fret not Devils fans, for while the weather gets colder, you can rest easy knowing that the team is keeping warm in their Derek Stepan skin suit. All up under that epidermis like a bacterial disease. Festering and rotting, minute after minute, hour after hour. John Hynes and Co. get their first win and send Derek Stepan directly to the IR. Now that's what I call a "staff" infection. Will someone get this guy a doctor? The Devils are dancing around in his head like sugar plum fairies. He's like two minutes away from a mental breakdown. You let this linger and he may never recover physically or emotionally. Poor guy scored two minutes into the game and convinced himself it was over. Hope he wore his reading glasses for overtime or being on the receiving end of some bukkake from Stempniak and the boys might blind him for the foreseeable future.

I'm not even hating on Derek Stepan for shooting the puck into the crowd. He had no choice. The Devils invaded his home and stole a win from right under his nose. That will force any man to act irrationally. Hide ya kids, hide ya wife, but we're taking that 'W'. Might not be easy, but that door is coming down and that rat trap you call "famous" is getting violated. If shooting John Hynes first game winning puck into the stands makes you feel better about that then so be it. That won't change the outcome, and the outcome is years of therapy to help Derek Stepan mentally overcome that time the Devils sodomized him in front of all of his fans. Pray for Steppy, he's going to be hearing the sound of crossbars in his sleep. Might as well get him a straight jacket now. He's been reduced to merely a puppet and the Devils are the ones pulling the strings. 

P.S. Of course Greeney got the puck, of course he did. That's what Captains do. When defeat seems imminent they stop pucks at the goal line, and when their opponent flips memorial pucks into the stands out of frustration they go retrieve that shit. Got to be the mediator between the coaches and the players and nothing will do that better than than getting the former a token to celebrate the achievements of the latter. ​