Derrick Coleman Arrested For Vehicular Assault, Wait, Legally Deaf People Are Allowed To Drive?

LBS- Seattle Seahawks fullback Derrick Coleman was arrested Thursday morning and booked on an allegation of vehicular assault, according to various reports.

Danny O’Neil of 710 ESPN Seattle is reporting that Coleman is being investigated for vehicular assault and hit-and-run. While he did not comment on the allegations, Coleman’s lawyer said Thursday that he was with Coleman on Wednesday night and there is “no way” the 24-year-old was under the influence of drugs or alcohol at the time of the alleged incident.

“There was no way on God’s green earth that Derrick Coleman was under the influence of anything,” the attorney said.

The Seahawks have suspended Coleman indefinitely pending further information.



I am not even trying to be a dick. I had no idea that people that can't hear shit are allowed to get behind the wheel of a car. Does that mean I can just throw on my 'Beats By Dre' headphones while cruising down the freeway and not think twice? That would be fantastic, because my car speakers are starting to leave a lot to be desired. I mean, there's really no difference, right? I am not saying that deaf people shouldn't be allowed to drive, but hearing what's going on around you is a pretty important part of being behind the wheel of a motor vehicle. How do you even know that you are driving like an asshole unless you hear a bunch of horns and expletives directed your way? Sound is how we maintain order out here in these streets. I can't blame Derrick Coleman. He's not properly equipped to handle all the unpredictability the open road has to offer. This was quite literally an accident waiting to happen. 

By all accounts Derrick Coleman is a good dude that wasn't under the influence of anything. For that reason, I think I know exactly what happened here. You ever tap a bumper when you were trying to parallel park or pull out of a spot? Do you ever check to see what damage you did unless you hear a distinct sound? I know I don't. If I didn't hit something hard enough to make noise then it doesn't even count as hitting something. Derrick Coleman is just guilty of playing by the same rules I do except he could hit an 18-wheeler head on and not hear a damn thing. He probably clipped some dude behind him and didn't even turn around to inspect the damage because he couldn't hear him shriek in pain. Clearly a person with fully functioning hearing taught Derrick Coleman the unwritten rules of the road. You didn't hear it, it didn't happen. It's like a tree falling in the forest. If there's only a deaf person there to hear it does it even make a sound?