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Two Minutes, Well Worth It

Does John Fox Have A Problem With Simple-Minded Reporters, Or Their Hot Dog Consumption?

10/11/2016

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#Bears coach John Fox was asked a couple of questions about the team's final offensive play in the loss to the Colts pic.twitter.com/Ig3XpASFT6

— Zach Zaidman (@ZachZaidman) October 10, 2016

Whoa, whoa, whoa. Wait just a goddamn minute here. Is John Fox - against all odds - a hater of hot dogs? I don't want to believe it, but after he referenced them in back-to-back insults I am having a little trouble seeing the forest through the trees here.

Truth be told, I have no problem with him disparaging the football acumen of the idiot that asked him a question that roughly translated to "do you think your quarterback should have thrown a game winning touchdown to your best wide receiver while he was standing all alone behind the defense with his dick in his hand?". Surely that inquiry was foolish enough to illicit a childish condemnation of a reporter's dietary habits - even if it came at the expense of delicious logs of pseudo-meat. It's the second derogatory mention of hot dogs that I have a problem with. Honestly, twice in one press conference? Now I can't even tell if John Fox is tired of the media's incessant badgering or the low-carb nutrition plan his wife has him sticking to. Is he jealous? Starving? VEGAN?!? With the way in which he was so quick to throw ballpark franks under the bus I would imagine that anything is possible.

Whatever the case may be, he needs to focus his frustrations on the people that are trying to get him to criticize his backup quarterback's inability to read a defense at a rudimentary level instead of the food they stuff down their gullet before they do. Not only does that food happen to somehow taste better on Sunday's but it has nothing to do with the stupid questions they are asking, so let's leave hot dogs out of it when giving them the stupid answers they deserve in return.

P.S. Honestly, if you watch this Bears team for more than five minutes you'd wonder how John Fox hasn't demanded that a never-ending supply of depression dogs be present on the sidelines at all times...
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