I don't know if there's all that much left to say. My apologies to Matt Dudek, Michigan's director of recruiting, but the Church has spoken and I cannot recall a single time in which one of its most devoted constituents has ever led anyone wrong. I was pretty certain the Wolverines were mediocre after watching Ohio State bend them over the barrel for the umpteenth time in...well...umpteenth times, but I was slightly in the dark on Jim Harbaugh being a magnet for any and all low-class student-athletes. Well, who better to help me see the light than a completely unbiased Pastor!?!? Typically I'd say it doesn't matter where the word of Lord is being preached from, but everyone knows those in the South are much more in tune with their spiritual side, and with that spiritual side comes an irreproachable ability to judge others. A man of God who lives in Florida and may or may not have a close connection to a certain school in Tuscaloosa is simply more well read on his Bible teachings, and apparently his particular testament has a few verses on the type of scum-sucking scoundrels who are drawn to the sales pitch of some asshole in Ann Arbor. Seems a bit direct, detailed, and topical for a scripture that's thousands of years old, but who am I question the man tasked with reading from a piece of literature that's timeless in its contempt towards particular groups of people? He says "Roll", we say "Tide". It's Nick Saba....I mean, the Lord's will. Probably because Alabama is just convenient enough in it's forgiveness to be a perfect fit for Christianity.
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