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Two Minutes, Well Worth It

Does This Matador Getting His Manhood Demolished End Bull Fighting Forever?

6/9/2015

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BSO- Galan—who said the incident “wasn’t my greatest moment” in what may go down as the understatement of the year—is thankfully OK after the incident (and by “OK,” we, of course, mean “alive…even if he’s got an eviscerated testicle”). But after he was violated by the bull, he fell down and started bleeding profusely from his groin. He had to be taken to a hospital immediately and treated for his gash. Despite everything he went through, though, he still plans on fighting bulls in the future and is really downplaying what took place.

“These things happen when you go in the ring,” he said. “But bad things can also happen just walking down the street.”



It's got to, right? How much could being a professional matador pay that you could watch someone 'bleed profusely from the groin' and still have the willingness to hop back into that ring? Oh yeah Galan? I can get my manhood blown off walking down the street? What streets do you walk down bro? It's like the people that say you can die getting out of bed. I would legitimately rather die getting out of bed than have a bull rip my nut off. Sure it could happen to anyone...anyone that's occupation is to provoke an animal that has deadly weapons sticking out of it's head. No joke, I can't think of anything worse possibly happening. You hit me in the groin with a NERF ball and I am probably down for the count. Never mind the horn of a musclebound bull running full speed. 

Seriously, I have said this before, but it applies here too. If a bull ever catches me in the scrotum, no matter what the situation is, I demand to be shot in the back of a head like a gimpy thoroughbred. Life just isn't worth living at that point. The months upon months of recover would be worth what? Being known as the guy with mangled balls. People don't forget. That shit will attract more attention than the chick walking around with full blown herpes on her lip. People constantly staring at your groin and wondering how bad it looks. People constantly asking you questions and reminding you that the area that makes a man a man probably looks more like a blind kid putting together a Mr. Potato Head of male genitalia. No fucking thanks. There's nothing 'okay' about not being able to look down at yourself naked without crying.
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