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Two Minutes, Well Worth It

Dwight Howard Getting In Trouble For Blatantly Using Stickum Is The Most Dwight Howard Story Of All Time

3/21/2016

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Rockets center Dwight Howard was caught using stickum, banned by the NBA, during last night's loss to the Hawks. pic.twitter.com/KikffosrN5

— Everything Georgia (@GAFollowers) March 20, 2016
Yahoo-   "I've been using it for the last five years," Howard said. "It hasn't been a problem. I don't know why people are making a big deal out of it. I do it every game. It's not a big deal. I ain't even tripping."

As Howard was about to check back into the game, he sprayed his hands at the scorer’s table with a can covered in white tape – apparently to hide its contents. He entered the game as Paul Millsap was at the free-throw line and grabbed the ball after a made first attempt. When Millsap got the ball back it clearly had a foreign substance on it.

“I’ve never felt the ball like that ever,” Millsap said after the game. “It was sticky. It was like super glue or something was on there. I couldn’t get it off my hands. It was the weirdest thing ever.”

Official Monty McCutchen grabbed the ball and went to each bench to issue a warning, saying ‘Stickum is illegal in the NBA.’ After first going to the Hawks bench he made his way toward the Rockets bench. Rockets coach J.B. Bickerstaff slid in front of the can, still at the scorer’s table. McCutchen noted he knew what Bickerstaff was hiding.




​Classic. Classic Dwight Howard. It honestly does not get any more Dwight Howard than this. He is the best in the business at doing whatever the hell he wants - for no apparent reason - even if it's ridiculously damaging to his career. Remember when Dwight Howard demanded out of Orlando? Then 6 minutes later he signed an extension to continue playing in Orlando? Then 6 minutes after that he was crying to get traded out of Orlando again? That whole situation was the beginning of the end of his happy-go-lucky reputation. The botched contract decision made absolutely no sense whatsoever, and it turned Dwight Howard from a fan favorite dunking in 'Superman' capes to the most disrespected superstar in the NBA. Now compare that to him getting busted using Stickum, but before you do, take a listen to what one of his peers has to say...

Steven Adams on Dwight Howard stick-em: "Maybe that's why he misses free throws, mate." pic.twitter.com/5x2Y91PtuJ

— Anthony Slater (@anthonyVslater) March 21, 2016
You can treat Steven Adams jab about free throw shooting as a joke if you want, but it's 100% true. It's far harder to shoot a basketball - or anything for that matter- when your hands feel like you just beat off into them. That's a fact. Take a look at Dwight Howard's free throws. In comparison to the rest of guys in the NBA that can't hit an uncontested 15 foot shot, he has a relatively fundamentally sound stroke. If I knew nothing about him and you only showed me his release I would even say he's an above average foul shooter. Alas, he is not and it's probably because he is willingly undermining his own ability to shoot by spraying his hands with a mild adhesive. 

Now tell me, how does Dwight Howard benefit from using Stickum? He's a 7 foot athletic specimen. If Zues was black and self conscious about his muscle tone he would photoshop his shoulders to look like Dwight Howard's shoulders. His hands are so goddamn big that when I looked for a picture of them I thought I accidentally enlarged the browser. I wouldn't be surprised if only his hands got busted for using HGH. He was probably palming a basketball before he was wiping his own ass. Why the hell would he need stickum? Short answer: He really doesn't. So he's basically been costing his team points at the line, while constantly using an illegal substance to help him in an area of his game that he doesn't even need help in. Dwight Howard, the undisputed champion of doing things that make absolutely no sense strictly because he wants to even though it's clearly terrible for his career. What a fucking title to hold.


​P.S. Unbelievably cocky move to spray his hands at the scorer's table and then immediately demand that he touches the ball before it got passed back to Paul Millsap. Didn't even give it a chance to dry. It's like he was begging to get caught. I honestly think the only answer it was that he is actually seeking new ways to get people to hate him. 
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