Eddie Olcyzk Had A Glaring Omission As He Did The Play-By-Play Of A Young Fan Eating Ice Cream

Listen, I have no problem with Eddie Olczyk making some enthusiastic observations of fan's snacking in the crowd, but if we are going to critique ice cream eating strategies then let's critique ice cream eating strategies. We can't just focus on the positive. Nobody likes a homer. If we are going to admire every last lick as a kid persistently attacks a cone of soft serve without much fanfare then we can't do so without also acknowledging the weenie spooning his waffle cone for camera time. That's like praising Jonathan Toews for scoring a shorthanded goal without criticizing Andrew Shaw for selfishly taking a bad penalty beforehand. Make no mistake. Using utensils to eat your ice cream cone is a transgression of the highest order, and doing so strictly for attention is nothing short of pretentious. If Eddie Olczyk is going to be a Carvel critic then he needs to be a thorough and objective Carvel critic. You can't just pretend that you didn't see the kid that eats dessert like Alexander Ovechkin plays defense in favor of showering praise on the kid with Patrick Kane-like consistency. He is responsible for breaking down the broadcast and the dainty, high maintenance dweeb that's making a mockery of the concession stand creamery simply can't be glossed over without commentary. Although I will admit that this is an MVP worthy effort....