UNSPORTSMANLIKE CONDUCT
  • Blog
  • About
  • Contact
  • Privacy Policy
UNSPORTSMANLIKE CONDUCT
Two Minutes, Well Worth It

Erik Karlsson And Mike Hoffman Linked Up To Create What Can Only Be Considered Hockey Porn

4/17/2017

0 Comments

 
Picture

#GottaSeeIt: Erik Karlsson springs Mike Hoffman for a breakaway and a beauty finish. #StanleyCup pic.twitter.com/N9Pr2Y6N4w

— Sportsnet (@Sportsnet) April 17, 2017

Erik Karlsson sends Mike Hoffman in alone, 1-0 #Sens pic.twitter.com/tgf5wChgMH

— Marina Molnar (@mkmolnar) April 17, 2017

That Karlsson pass was totally mind-boggling and the HNIC crew broke it down nicely. Just wow. pic.twitter.com/jzySUw1OE7

— Sean Tierney (@ChartingHockey) April 18, 2017

While I admit that the highs (and the much more self loathing lows) of playoff hockey correlate greatly with the experience of watching pornography, I try to avoid using one in reference to the other. It's just an unnecessary association that creates a messy conflict of interests. Unfortunately, in this case, I don't think there is any other option. The heart-pounding speechlessness that came over me when Mike Hoffman provided the climactic finish for Erik Karlsson's seductive handiwork was reminiscent of...well...you get the idea. Seriously, it's a good thing no one strolled into my apartment during the immediate aftermath of that play or one glance at my face would have gave them the impression that they caught me dick in hand. I almost wish a dish that nifty gave me stiffy, because that was worthy of at least a 20 minute tuck into the waistband. The breathtakingly sexy sauce? The smoothness with which the puck met it's recipient? The orgasmic finish that seemed to come out of nowhere? That was picture perfect hockey porn in it's most unadulterated form, and I won't let anyone that doesn't reach peak arousal during the NHL playoffs tell me differently.
0 Comments



Leave a Reply.

    Categories

    All
    Dumbest-of-the-stupid
    Footy Fisticuffs Etc
    Hardball
    Hoops
    Jersey's Team
    Pigskin
    Pop Cultured
    Puck
    Scarlet-knights
    Who Dat Nation

    Archives

    January 2020
    December 2019
    November 2019
    October 2019
    August 2019
    July 2019
    June 2019
    May 2019
    April 2019
    March 2019
    February 2019
    January 2019
    December 2018
    November 2018
    October 2018
    September 2018
    August 2018
    July 2018
    June 2018
    May 2018
    April 2018
    March 2018
    February 2018
    January 2018
    December 2017
    November 2017
    October 2017
    September 2017
    August 2017
    July 2017
    June 2017
    May 2017
    April 2017
    March 2017
    February 2017
    January 2017
    December 2016
    November 2016
    October 2016
    September 2016
    August 2016
    July 2016
    June 2016
    May 2016
    April 2016
    March 2016
    February 2016
    January 2016
    December 2015
    November 2015
    October 2015
    September 2015
    August 2015
    July 2015
    June 2015
    May 2015
    April 2015
    March 2015
    February 2015
    January 2015
    December 2014
    November 2014
    October 2014
    September 2014

    RSS Feed

Powered by Create your own unique website with customizable templates.
  • Blog
  • About
  • Contact
  • Privacy Policy