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Two Minutes, Well Worth It

Evander Kane Won Back His Model Girlfriend By Posting A Billboard Of Her Face On The Sunset Strip

9/3/2015

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Puck Daddy- Buffalo Sabres cash money forward Evander Kane dropped some serious dough on a billboard on LA's Sunset Strip to try to get model (then) ex Mara Teigen back. The photo is above.

And after the weekend, it appears the stunt worked. According to TMZ, Teigen has taken the forward back.

“I was very flattered, I thought it was really sweet, I thought it was really clever,” Teigen said in a video interview with TMZ. “I got a lot of texts and I saw a lot of it on TMZ and on the internet. It was pretty funny.”

Teigen said she thought it was "cute." 

“We’re working things out, he’s a good guy,” she added.




Isn't this adorable. Seriously, this is like a scene straight out of the most heartwarming rom-com parody ever made. Hey, sometimes we all wish our lives were like a movie. Who says that movie can't be a mockumentary?

Good news guys. If you want to go swimming in Evander Kane's dating pool you won't need your swimmies, because that shit is as shallow as the California water supply. You also won't need your wet suit, because it all fairness, it's really more of a hot tub. Regardless, I don't even know what to think about this story. Do I owe Evander Kane a tip of the cap for recognizing that the only way to win his girlfriend back was to pander to her undying sense of narcissism? Am I supposed to be disgusted that she thinks a billboard with her face on it, with no other message than "Love Evander" is actually really clever? Am I supposed to be mad because these two superficial assholes are better at relationships than I am? So many questions, and I can't even rely on these self absorbed, hollow shells that resemble people to give me but one answer.

On first glance I really want to sit here and say that they are the worst couple ever, but is it possible that this union is soooo ass backwards that they did a full reverse revolution and they are back to being in a healthy, productive relationship? I think that's exactly what happened. As terrible as Evander Kane and Mara Teigen are as people, they are pretty much perfect for each other. Kane is either too stupid, or doesn't care enough, to make a real, romantic gesture, and Teigen is too stupid to know what a real, romantic gesture looks like. Why find someone that can change you for the better when you can just find someone that accepts you exactly as you are? After all, vain people need love too. Sure, some might say that all Evander Kane did was solve his relationship woes by frivolously tossing around an outrageous sum of cash, but wouldn't you know it, that's exactly what Mara Teigen is looking for in a man. Well, that and a guy that tells her she's pretty and doesn't mind watching her spend half the day looking in the mirror. I guess that's not the worst compromise in exchange for a smoking hot girlfriend with unbelievably low relationship standards. As long as a fruitless conversation between too beautiful people counts as a strange place, then I guess you really can find love in the strangest places.
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