Everyone Knows That You Didn't Actually Breastfeed Your Child Unless You Did It In Public And Took A Bunch Of Photos Of It

NSFW - Dear Friendly Apple Guy, Yesterday I walked into your store wearing the same clothes I was in two days before, no shower, no makeup, exhausted, dehydrated, and terrified of surviving the next hour in a busy store with my fussy 4-month old son. We lasted about 15 minutes before my overtired baby began to cry. It’s never my preference to breastfeed in a room full of 100+ strangers, and I’ve heard horror stories of women who have been publicly humiliated for feeding their babies without a cover. But when I latched my baby to my bare breast right in front of you, you didn’t miss a beat. There was not a hint of disgust or repulsion in your eyes. In fact, when I timidly asked you to snap a photo of the moment for my social media project, you smiled widely and proceeded to spend 10 minutes getting a good shot while my phone was busy updating. You told me all about how you worked at Disneyland and saw moms nursing their babies all the time and how you think it should be considered totally normal. You agreed with me that it’s important to share these moments on social media to empower women to breastfeed their babies without fear. And thanks to your beautiful, compassionate support, I felt victorious and powerful in that moment. I was too tired to remember your name, but whoever you are, thank you on behalf of all breastfeeding mothers. Thank you for helping us change the way the world views the sight of a woman nurturing her child.

(And thank you, Apple, for making products so interesting that pretty much everyone in the store was too distracted to notice me anyway.)

Sincerely,
A Grateful Mother




Good work Apple Guy, my problem does not reside with you. You did your job. You're in sales. Make the costumer feel welcome. Be inviting. Never forget that the customer is always right, even if she pulls her titty out on a casual Wednesday afternoon. I don't even have a problem with the woman breastfeeding. If you absolutely have to feed your child in the moment, have at it. Just don't expect people not to look when you are wandering around a mall with another human being clinging to your bare breast. I don't care if you are trying to empower childbirth, or breastfeeding, or femininity, or whatever. If I walked down the street in a tutu I would expect to get some stares, doesn't matter if I was trying to glorify a transgendered lifestyle or not. 

"Thank you Apple guy for taking an hour out of your day to be my Instagram photographer and scrolling through a thousand stupid filters, and making me feel better about my situation and catering to my every need and desire. Wait, what was your name again?"

This guy didn't just open the door for her. He basically spent an hour being her husband. I'm terrible with names too, but if I ask a stranger for ten different favors (would never happen) you can bet your ass I am going to make a point of remembering their name. I am sure this guy really enjoyed being there for you only to get no compensation and the title "Apple Guy". 

My issue is this woman had to make a goddamn spectacle of herself. I get the feeling this broad just goes around intentionally breast feeding in public. Scratch that. I know that's what she does. I don't think women should be shamed for being put in precarious situations when raising children, but how about attempting to keep some things to the privacy of your own home. You shouldn't be galavanting off to the mall, or the grocery store, or anywhere else that isn't Mardi Gras with the hopes of pulling a tit out. If it happens, it happens, but you certainly don't need to have a photoshoot in the middle of the store. You know how worried you were about having to wait in line at Apple? Well now there is some poor schmuck wasting away as you get pretty for your "instagram project". Calling an instragram account a "project" is the most bougey shit I have ever heard. Instagram is a project in the same way that a Facebook account is an autobiography or that a twitter account is a list of memoirs.