Everything Is Bigger In Texas; Like The Temper of The Two Bros That Lost In Beer Pong And Decided To Shoot Up The Party
The Smoking Gun- After getting vanquished in a beer pong match, a group of sore losers opened fire early yesterday at a Texas house party, wounding a female reveler, police report.
I've been apart of few scuffles post beer pong games. One resulted in a lemon pepper shaker exploding everywhere. One resulted in a broken window. One resulted in my roommate leaving his own party and going off the grid. I am trying to imagine if that same roommate came back with a 9 milli and started wildly shooting up our apartment like Yosemite Sam. Yup, can't imagine a game of beer pong ending that badly that gunplay seems appropriate. I've pretty much lost in everyday possible to people I have both liked and hated and never had the urge to kill.
I guess the first red flag is that this kid had a gun on him in the first place. I would like to say I would never fire a gun because someone is leaning too much. However, I have never played the game with a gun on me so how would I know? I have definitely muttered the phrase 'I wanna kill that kid' while playing pong. Granted it was hyperbole, but still. What if someone just gave my drunk ass a gun? Might give new meaning to the term 'death cup'. Kind of weird he just shot aimlessly at the whole party. A shooting over a beer pong loss seems like it should have a more direct target.
Classic case of not knowing the people at your party. Maybe don't let the guy with the rap sheet longer than the beer pong list on the table. Maybe check if he has a weapon upon entering the door. I know it's Texas, but come on. Is this normal down there? People just rocking heat on their waist to keggers. Seems a little over the top, even for the south.
I think this means I'm out of the game. I mean, I only really play with friends at tailgates now. But me, beer pong, and 2014 no longer mix. I think the problem is the generation of kids that grew up with honorable mention trophies aren't used to losing. Think about it. They grow up playing sports being told how great they are, even if they suck. Drinking games don't work like that. Losing a beer pong game is a pretty emasculating situation, and the addition of alcohol obviously doesn't help. You win and stay on or you get the fuck out. No pat on the ass. No reassurance of how awesome you are. I refuse to risk my life by being super good at throwing a ping pong ball in a solo cup of beer. Can't do it. Won't do it.