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Two Minutes, Well Worth It

Former Colts Running Back Zurlon Tipton Shot Himself Dead Removing A Duffle Bag Full Of Guns From His Car

6/29/2016

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FOX-  The man who accidentally shot himself earlier Tuesday at a Roseville car dealership has died, Roseville Police tell FOX 2. The Wayne County Medical Examiner has identified the victim as former NFL player Zurlon Tipton.

Police say the customer pulled into a service bay at the dealership around 9:30 a.m., and went to take a duffel bag out of his trunk. The duffel bag had two guns inside, police say, and one of the guns accidentally went off and Tipton was struck in the stomach.

The medical examiner says they are receiving Tipton's body later today, and that an autopsy is scheduled for Wednesday. 




Ah Zurlon, we hardly knew ye. The way he was killed kind of rules out him being a good person, so I think we will stick to saying we had to lay an EXCELLENT first name to rest far too soon. Anyway, now is as good a time as any to answer a question that has been weighing on my mind for quite some time now - when is it okay to make fun of recently deceased? With all due respect to his family and friends, I have to imagine that there is no such thing as "too soon" in this scenario. When a former NFL  player - that was arrested on CHRISTMAS morning for unloading the contents of an ASSAULT RIFLE on his girlfriend's dwelling  - accidentally murders himself with a  duffle bag he doesn't get a grace period. I think that's a pretty fair exception. I bet even his loved ones have already taken to making jokes behind closed doors, and I don't even blame them. How could they feel bad for a man that grabbed his luggage so recklessly that he pulled the trigger on a gun inside of it hard enough to fire a shot into his own torso - regardless of their relation to him? 

That funeral isn't even going to be a somber event full of people mourning, it's going to be an inconvenient event full of people checking their watches. It's basically a chore to muster up tears on behalf of someone that accidentally committed suicide while transporting deadly weaponry from one vehicle to another at a car dealership. This guy played for the Colts, and there is a ZERO percent chance that Chuck Pagano is loading up the team plane to have his players pay their respects to someone that passed away in such unforgivably stupid fashion. I like to think I can properly appraise human life, and Zurlon Tipton's stock has long been dwindling. It's inevitable flatline was anything but unexpected, and definitely not worthy of my sympathy. 
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