Fuck This Kid That Won Tickets To The Super Bowl And Can't Decide Whether To Take His Brother Or His Girlfriend

Dude, how about you just save us all some time and take your girlfriend to the Super Bowl? Not because it's the right thing to do, but because that's what you've already decided on doing. I would love to sit here tell you to be a man, take your brother, and cut ties with your overbearing girlfriend. Unfortunately they would just be wasted words, because there's simply no way that's going to happen here. Trust me, I am not the only person that thinks this way. Clearly your brother -who basically won the fucking tickets for you- knows you're taking your girlfriend. He only told you it was okay to bring her because he knew that extra seat was as good as gone the second you started questioning it. Clearly your girlfriend knows she's going, because she wouldn't have been cocky enough to ask for it unless she knew she had the control over you to get it. It's fine man (that's what people say when it's totally not fine, but they have just given up on you as your own, free thinking person). Everyone has a friend like this. The "you know how it is" friend. The guy that can't say no to this girlfriend. The guy that only gets let off the leash when his significant other wants to test out the range on her whip. I just feel bad for your extremely resourceful sibling, because his version of that friend happens to be his pussy ass brother who has more Super Bowl tickets than descending testicles.  

Remember in '40 Year Old Virgin' when Paul Rudd's character says he is taking up celibacy, and Seth Rogen's character says that's the first conversation of three conversations that lead to someone being gay? This reddit post is the first post of three posts that lead to him taking his girlfriend. First it's "she's being so selfish", then it's "well, I guess I see her point", then it's "oh, I am gay person now"/ "sorry bro, you know how it is". I can already see the makings of post two in post one. She's a football fan and would love to go? Oh yeah? If she was such a fucking football fan why didn't you call her for the trivia answer when Super Bowl tickets were on the line? You don't know who is right, or you don't even know what right feels like anymore? A woman can only take what you give her, and this guy handed this chick his balls in a vice before he even knew her last name. Just go ahead and take your dictator of a girlfriend. Maybe she'll even let you wear her pants on game day. 

h/t Busted Coverage