Future Claims That Ciara Used To Make Him Pray With Her After Sex, And Suddenly Her and Russell Wilson Make Sense
Well folks, now it's all starting to come together. The devout Catholic Russell Wilson and the girl that was responsible for many an awkward boner with her 'Ride' video are a much better match than anyone could have possibly imagined. Just when I thought a professional athlete abstaining from sex was weird, it comes out that a pop singer and a rapper were getting on their knees to pray immediately after partaking in complete debauchery. The progression actually makes sense from Ciara's standpoint. The only logical thing to do after post sex praying is becoming abstinent. Luckily she found pretty much the only successful person on the planet that talks to God about the evils of vagina on a daily basis. Talk about fate! Do people still think religion is completely bogus? What do you think Russell Wilson is on his knees bedside talking to himself? Come on guys!
In all seriousness, in a world where nothing is out of the question sexually, praying might be the weirdest thing a person can do with their partner in the bedroom. If anything, this is conformation that Ciara is amazing in bed. She's such a freak that she couldn't even wait until her next confessional to pray away the abominable amount of sinning that was committed throughout every square every inch of their room. You know how I know that Ciara has some bomb pussy? Because rappers don't acknowledge Jesus Christ at the request of some average ass they just received. Blow my mind sexually and I will do whatever you wish. Ask me to start talking to God after the average post-nut clarity and I'll be down the street before your elbows even hit the bed. That's just too strange to willingly participate in unless correctly motivated. Agreeing to invite Jesus into your life while your life is still covered in a cloud of stank is such an incomprehensibly weird thing to do that it must be reserved for instances where you can't risk not getting invited back again.
P.S. It's got to suck for Russell Wilson. When you have a girlfriend after the age of 17 you already know she's not a virgin, but hearing people talk about her hidden temple when you're nowhere close to receiving the key can't be easy. Future didn't even say anything bad here. However, the fact that Russell Wilson is hoarding nuts for marriage must make every mention of her name seem like instigation. All he probably heard from that whole interview was "you don't know what you're missing", and I can't blame him....well except for being a born again virgin weirdo.