Good News, We Now Know Which Louisiana Tech Basketball Player Tyler Summitt Didn't Impregnate

Rumors Squashed. Don't talk about what you don't know. #notprego #LetsMoveOn #LadyTechsterTerritory pic.twitter.com/fEmApjEr8v

— Ashley Santos (@ASantos_33) April 8, 2016

I love this. How can you not? It's like the sexually irresponsible version of 'Guess Who?'. Was it the cute brunette guard from Geneva, Illinois? Not according to her Twitter feed it's not. You can knock her face down off the board. That oven sure looks bun-less to me. Sure, she just put all the heat on the rest of her teammates, but she's not going to be accidentally known as the girl that let her goofy looking Head Coach plow her raw dog. She's got no problem taking one for the team as long as that "one" isn't an unplanned fetus. Sometimes you've just got to value your own reputation over the cohesiveness of a women's basketball team that is apparently in complete disarray. I can respect that. If I was a girl and someone assumed that I was carrying the coach's love child I would demand to practice in a sports bra until the matter was fully resolved too. That's just self conservation. You almost have no choice but to throw the rest of the squad under the bus if the alternative is getting run over yourself. 

I got to be honest, I thought we already knew who the "lucky gal" was, but I can support the entirety of the roster coming out - one by one - and claiming their innocence on social media. Although it seems to me the number of people I would consider "viable candidates" is getting pretty low, and the prime suspect already looks like she's doing a pretty shitty job of subtly concealing her baby bump...
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