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Two Minutes, Well Worth It

Good Samaritan Lions Fan Lets Stranger Know His Wife Might Be Cheating

12/6/2014

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http://fansided.com/2014/12/05/lions-fan-busts-cheating-girlfriend-thanksgiving-game/

FanSided- It seems these days that the world is filled with people who are only looking out for themselves, but there are still a few good people out there. One of those guys was at the Detroit Lions game on Thanksgiving, and he was watching out for his fellow bro without him even knowing it.

This anonymous Good Samaritan didn’t pull anyone from a burning car — unless you’re metaphorically speaking — nor did he rescue a bunch of kittens from a tree. Rather, he tipped off a guy sitting in front of him that the girl he was with may or may not have been cheating on him while they were at the game.

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Some people might say that it is not this random stranger's place to be ratting on old potbelly over here. Those people couldn't be more wrong. This is why I don't cheat. Well, not being in a relationship helps. But if I were in one, this is why I wouldn't cheat. Obviously, it's messed up to your significant other. It's also really fucking hard. Especially in this day and age. I would get caught cheating two weeks before I even thought about cheating. There are too many forms of social media. Everything is too public. I would get tagged, literally and metaphorically speaking, before I even engaged in any sexual promiscuity. In an ass backwards way, I kind of respect the people that can keep up a side relationship without being found out. That requires a level of work and commitment that I don't even want to put into the original relationship. Although in a woman's case it probably just takes a really oblivious husband. 

You can never be mad if you get caught cheating. Doesn't matter how your partner finds out. Could be his friend, your friend, texts, social media, straight up getting walked in on, or worst case, a complete stranger eavesdropping on you.  Getting caught cheating by a stranger is like getting a DUI after getting pulled over for a busted tail light. You tempt fate and bad things are bound to happen to you. You can't be mad at that. That's the risk you took. You go cliff jumping you might land smoothly or you might shatter your ankle on impact, just have to hope the high is worth the pain (credit: T. Swift). Maybe don't be so obvious about it next time. Constantly turning off your phone in the presence of your husband? Someone's playing on a rookie level. It's a miracle your delirious husband hadn't already caught you. Maybe put off the cheating until after you push out the kid. The first dick a child sees should always be his/her fathers. Something about another man's penis being within inches of your husband's child doesn't sit right with me. What kind of awful human being cheats when they are 7-8 months pregnant? What kind of side piece is smashing out a woman whose water could break at any given moment? You don't want that mess on your hands, or on your sheets for that matter. 

Of course this guy could have totally read the situation wrong. Nothing about the texts he read is ironclad as far as being unfaithful is concerned. However, it is way more fun to think this preggo got busted cheating by the drunk ass behind her at a Thanksgiving football game. Whether or not he was right (let's say he was, for entertainment's sake) he still gets a tip of the cap from me. Better to be safe than sorry. Man code 101: Never let a fellow man get cheated on by a pregnant heifer with a pixie cut. Chances are he would be relieved to hear the news. Cut that umbilical then cut bait. You and your sausage fingers are another man's problem now.

P.S. According to the analysis of his handwriting it's very possible he didn't read a single word of those text messages right. By the looks of it, he wouldn't have even passed a concussion test. Probably concocted the entire scenario in this head. Had an entire chart drawn up on the back of his ticket to who "Jason" could possibly be. Fuck it, it's the thought that counts. He could play for my team any day.
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