Gritty, The Flyers' New Meth-Addicted Mascot, Looked Fitting Of Philadelphia In His Debut
As much as I despise contrived attempts to seek attention that fall under the "any publicity is good publicity" umbrella, I must give credit where credit is due. Not even the Flyers' could concoct a creature that downright despicable without doing so intentionally, so I'm quite certain that 'Gritty' was born of an over-the-top troll job, but at least it's an over-the-top troll job that finally embraces the loathsome degeneracy of Philadelphia sports' fandom. Self-awareness is a lost art, and the Flyers painted a goddamn Picasso of public perception in trotting an ugly, overweight, unkempt, uncoordinated, and unlikeable excuse for a mascot out in front of those that inspired it's likeness.
So no, I'm not going to focus on the fact that 'Gritty' looks like he could probably be found sitting on the concourse with his helmet held out begging for booze, drugs, change, or a ride to the nearest place he could find any of the three. After all, it's not about him appearing as though he decided to spend the last decade living off animal feces in the wilderness of West Philadelphia after having his role as a homeless muppet cut from Dave Chappelle's Sesame Street-inspired skit...
It's about a long-suffering organization finally giving in to how uncouth as shockingly large segment of their customers are and introducing a mascot that's capable of scaring just as many children as the legion of drunkards stumbling around the concourse cursing at the length of the line for crab fries as their eyes roll around in their head.
Well, it's either about that, or giving FUBAR'd fans a padded target to pelt with projectiles when the referees don't prove as fond of the Broad Street Bullies schtick as the franchise that, despite decades of evidence to the contrary, somehow still thinks that it helps win hockey games.
Either way, 'Gritty' is perfect fit in the only city hateful enough to boo in the face of a mascot that might as well be wearing a mirror.
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