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Two Minutes, Well Worth It

Henrik Lundqvist May Be A Great Goaltender, But He's A Fucking Moron For Throwing His Stick In The Crowd

11/11/2015

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I love when players try to engage, and show appreciation for, their fans by tossing a souvenir or two into the crowd. It's something that makes the actual experience of going to a game even cooler, albeit for the vast minority that are sitting within throwing distance of the ice. I hate Henrik Lundqvist and i hate the New York Rangers. However, even I can admit that they seem to do a pretty good job of being fairly charitable towards all the losers in suits, that got tickets for free from their company, and have no idea what's going on during the game. Can't be easy to be so nice to a bunch of whiney, fair-weather, entitled little bitches. I tip my hat to the organization for that.

​I would also like to pat myself on the back for making a moderately nice comment about the New York Rangers without leaving my lunch on my keyboard. I'm not sure what that says about the objectivity of my writing, but we are about to get back to 
subjectivity real quick. Hey Henrik, what in the fuck did you think was going to happen? You basically just a threw a dead body into a pool of sharks. The crazy part is that what actually happened, a couple of grown men wrestling over another grown man's hockey stick, was just about the best possible outcome. You can't just launch sticks into the crowd and expect it to go swimmingly. Intention? A+. Execution? F-. That thing could have taken someone's fucking eye out. Especially knowing the superficial, self involved crowd in the lower bowl at MSG. The biggest surprise in this video is that this guy wasn't looking at his phone or making a handshake deal with a client when this stick casually landed in his lap. If you had stopped the video when the stick was in the air and asked me to bet on what would happen I would have put money on someone bleeding. If it wasn't from taking a stick blade to the face, it would have been from physical assault at the hands of another person. Expecting a bunch of assholes from New York to rationally decide who gets to take home something of value is a fool's errand. Henrik Lundqvist has been playing in front of those jerkoffs far too long not to know that.

Bottomline? Rangers fans don't even deserve to live, never mind live with the stick of one of the great goaltenders of our time in their man cave. 
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