Here Is The Real Reason The Saints Lost On Sunday...

I know, I know. It was just a day ago where I all but blamed Sean Payton for the Saints week one loss to the Arizona Cardinals. It was just a day ago that I went as far as questioning his manhood for a decision to punt that all but sealed the Saints 0-1 fate. Well, I take it all back. I'm sorry Sean. I didn't mean it. You never even had a chance. Sure, the Saints were in the game until the very end, despite an utterly abysmal offensive performance. However, you just don't win games when you have fans showing up to away stadiums dressed like this...

You see this guy? This guy wearing a $20 Walmart shirt of an ex-Saints player? The guy wearing a "jersey" that doesn't even come relatively close to resembling anything that an actual Saints player has ever worn? This guy with wide receivers gloves, that cost about 6x what his shirt cost, sticking out the back of his pocket? The guy who is wearing eye black in a dome (that you can't see because I would have to be a social pariah to take his picture from the front)? This guy is why the Saints lost. Yes, he was just one, amongst many, Saints fans that made the trek to Arizona. However, people that show up dressed like complete and utter assholes to opposing stadiums do not go home happy. You don't tempt the football God's. Once this kid slipped a pair of gloves, that he had no business buying, into his back pocket, he had awoken the spirits. Those gloves all but symbolized every one of Colston's dropped passes. They all but symbolized everyone of Coleman's questionable routes. Every time the Saints threw, yet another, screen pass on third and long it was a decision that was preempted by this kid's failure to adhere to social norms. 

If you are somewhere out there reading this, fellow Who Dat, I just want you to know that I don't usually believe in karma, but your attire was deserving of a loss, and you owe the rest of the fanbase an apology. The rest of the fanbase that showed up solely to support our team, and not solely to make a ridiculous fashion statement that would make a 9 year old blush with embarrassment. I guess it's possible that the Saints lost because of play calling and execution, but with Drew Brees track record of success, I don't think I am crazy to assume that something else was at play. Something else that had nothing but this kid's bitter defeat in mind.