Here Is Your Weekly, Obligatory Installment Of 'Brandon Browner: A True Jackass'

Fair Enough

A photo posted by Brandon Browner (@bbrowner39) on Dec 29, 2015 at 10:00pm PST

Let's be clear, I don't hate Brandon Browner for being really bad at football. At one point I did, but this season is a lost cause, and I prefer to think it wasn't strictly his fault that it turned out that way. Even though he is as responsibly as one man, not playing the quarterback position, could possibly be. I don't even hate Brandon Browner for being a self centered, money hungry dickhead that doesn't understand how privileged he is to make millions of dollars for providing next to nothing, other than a record setting amount of penalties, on a football field. Hey, getting paid more to do less is the American dream, so it would be hypocritical of me to criticize him for achieving it.

I DO hate Brandon Browner for thinking that I, or any Saints fan for that matter, ever loved him. Fuck a week, I have spent more time loving the concept of genital mutilation than I have spent loving Brandon Browner. The closest I came to loving Brandon Browner was when I liked the Saints decision to sign him and it's been downhill ever since. Enough flags to put the United Nations to shame. So much blown coverage that even Don Lemon thinks he's capable of playing cornerback in the NFL. Innumerable tiffs with the local media that have left even the most loyal of fans siding with the those whose job it is to get people to hate them. So many dumb, misguided posts on social media that even Gilbert Arenas thinks he needs a publicist. I fucking hate Brandon Browner and it has nothing to do with his salary. It has way more to do with his patently false Instagram post. 

Hey Brandon, don't mistake our undying love for the New Orleans Saints as admiration for you. Don't mistake the joy we get out of every single victory, no matter how meaningless, as respect for your work. The Who Dat Nation loved almost every second of that win over the Jaguars on Sunday, except for the moments Blake Bortles spent exposing you to the tune of 150 yards and two touchdowns (highlighted by a 90 yard touchdown). Saints fans loved the outcome on Sunday, but that outcome had nothing, and I mean NOTHING to do with you. Fuck love, we don't even like you. So enjoy those paychecks, no matter how unearned they are, but don't you ever, EVER say that there was any love between you and Saints fans. There was no love to be lost because it was NEVER, EVER found. 

P.S. Generally speaking, when you need the help of a meme that features a fictional, drug pushing gangster that killed his best friend to make your point then your point fucking sucks. Say hello to my little friend, Brandon...