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Two Minutes, Well Worth It

Here's Jerry Rice Spending The Day As Your Obnoxiously Outgoing Lyft Driver

2/3/2016

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I got to be honest here, as much of a sports fan as I am, I don't think I would have realized that was Jerry Rice. At least not at first anyway. Maybe once he started asking me to sing, telling me he was going to stop for a stretch, or putting the seat back and taking a nap then I would have picked up on it. Other than that, it would have been mighty hard for me to distinguish him from any other African American Lyft driver with a beard in sunglasses and a beanie. He would have been in the driver's seat jabbering on about how he grew up wanting to be a ballet dancer or how he peaked as an athlete in high school, and I would have been in the backseat (unlike these social pariahs sitting shotty in a chauffeur situation) with one headphone in saying "what was that?" every 20 seconds. I would have single handedly ruined this entire viral video. By the time we got to the destination he would have had to have taken his Super Bowl ring off and forced it onto my finger before I paid enough attention to recognize him.

​I treat my Uber/Lyft drivers as a means to end just like I want them to treat me as a means to end. I want a cheap and convenient transportation, not a new friend. There's no amount of stickum that would have made me receptive to that level of chumminess. The possibility that I might ignore Jerry Rice is worth the probability that I'll just ignore a bunch of weird, overly intrusive socialites.

Also, while it would be cool to randomly have an NFL Hall Of Famer drive me around San Francisco, I would prefer he do it in a timely manner. From the looks of this video these passengers got a 5-Star experience and a 2-Star ride. Thank God Jerry Rice was potentially the best wide receiver of all time, because he absolutely SUCKS as a taxi driver. Hope he plans on making up for that extra milage with a signed jersey or something, because I would have been way more starstruck by Jerry Rice before he tried his hand at broadcasting. Still would have been something to tell the kids, but don't think I wouldn't have included how late he made for whatever function (i.e. bar) I was headed to. 
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