I can't believe it. No, I won't believe it. You will not convince me that the NFL equivalent of Andre 3000 was placed on the sidelines during the opening sequence of a game against a superior opponent for failing to wear a goddamn necktie. I have no choice but to consider the claim that Cam Newton was benched - for what ended up amounting to a single play - because he didn't strictly adhere to the dress code the worst lie ever told by an NFL head coach.
I mean, how could I not? We are talking about someone that dresses like the kid from 'Big Daddy' if the kid from 'Big Daddy' randomly stumbled upon a wealth of discretionary income. If Cam Newton had to sit a series for each and every time he appeared mildly unprofessional then he would be confined to a wheelchair on gamedays. I understand that sometimes you have to send a message that no player is bigger than the team, but Ron Rivera could have sent that message when his starting quarterback/reigning MVP showed up in a pink blazer...or skin tight capris....or lady flats. If we are judging on the Cam Newton scale then he was overdressed for a professional football game yesterday so I refuse to even entertain the idea that a modest turtleneck was punishable by temporary substution. Pretty sure that is the most understated outfit that Cam Newton even owns so I find it exceedingly hard to comprehend it's what got his coach to finally speak up. That's why I won't comprehend it, because it simply didn't happen. The guy that has made the headwear of the nameless guy from 'Curious George' a staple in his wardrobe didn't face costly discipline solely because he wasn't sporting a double windsor upon his arrival. I'm sure whatever he did to get scolded was well deserving of said scolding, but it wasn't just his decision to go business-casual.