Honestly, has any team ever lost a breakup worse than the Toronto Maple Leafs? It doesn't even matter that they ended up with the first overall pick and look to be a young, promising team on the rise, because the person they stopped at nothing to villainize is now a Stanley Cup Champion. Not only that, but he's become a lovable Stanley Cup Champion with a cult following. He may have been viewed as an enigmatic, overweight problem child in Toronto, but he became a hot dog eating hero as soon as he crossed through customs. Oh, and just in case you still think he's a dick and that his success in the playoffs was merely a matter of happenstance, he just proved his worth as a family man by giving his Grandma a sip of champagne out of the Cup. Sorry, after what I have seen since I just can't imagine a world in which any of laundry list of criticisms that were directed at him in Toronto were justified. This whole situation is starting to feel like running into your friend's ex-girlfriend at the bar, sharing a few laughs with her, and realizing that your buddy was actually the reason that she sucked. The Toronto Maple Leafs are the shitty friend that doesn't show up to events or respond to texts and blames his girlfriend for all of it when in actuality she's down for anything and capable of doing so much better than him! Who would have thought that Phil fucking Kessel would be the ex to prosper after being granted a new lease on life?! He's broken free from the shackles of a bad relationship, and in doing so he's left no doubt at to who was at fault for it ending so poorly. The Grandma's boy is at it again ladies and gentlemen. Stanley Cup? What's that mean? Is that bad? Did I break it?
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