How Crazy Is It That Eazy-E's Son Just Made A Compelling Case That Suge Knight Injected His Father With AIDS?
You know, I read the headline for this story and my original thought was "wow, talk about delusional. I can't believe that Eazy-E's son is a crazy conspiracy theorist". Low and behold, no more than two minutes later I was thinking "wow, that actually makes a lot of sense, am I a crazy conspiracy theorist?". Now, don't get me wrong. I don't think Ice Cube named his fucking studio album after the time someone from another record label injected his former group mate with what was, at the time, the world's deadliest disease. The only thing that is more illogical than that is thinking that Suge Knight was smart, or connected, enough to get his hands on a vile of MOTHERFUCKIN' HIV. If you are asking me if I think Eazy-E got AIDS from fucking 5 different women a night for a decade without a rubber, or if I think he got it from a glorified bouncer injecting into his bloodstream then I think you know the answer. However, the pieces do fit together oddly well. Shit, it makes more sense than the 9/11 conspiracy theories. I'll say this, if they did give Eazy-E some AIDS blood then there's no way he would have admitted it on his death bed. Dude had a reputation to uphold. Fucking your way to a early grave is exponentially more gangsta than having someone stick an infected needle in your ass after they bludgeoned you.
Here is what more than likely happened. Suge Knight's maniacal ass heard that Eazy-E died from AIDS and, as sick as it sounds, a little lightbulb appeared above his head. I can just see that fat fuck smoking a cuban cigar, with one finger raised proudly in the air proclaiming "yo, giving motherfuckas AIDS is the new shit!". There's just no goddamn way that goon was creative enough to be responsible for the first, and last, death via biological warfare in hip hop history. He's a bully, not a terrorist. Anyway, the name of Ice Cube's album, 'Lethal Injection', is just a crazy coincidence in retrospect. Like Dre said, "blame it on Ice Cube...". We can just forget that the end of that line is "...because he says it gets funky when you have a subject and a predicate".
With that said, the fact that I just wrote an entire blog discussing the possibility of a co-owner of a record company intentionally killing a rival rapper with a sexually transmitted virus makes me miss old school hip hop. Today, we got rappers getting metaphorically "killed" through internet memes while back in the glory days you had to exhaust all options in finding the source of your degenerative, terminal disease. Drake and Meek Mill will probably shake hands and pose for pictures at the next award show, while Jerry Heller came out just last week and said he should have let Eazy-E kill Suge Knight. It was just a different era. An era that is probably better for everyone's safety, but undoubtedly worse for their music.
P.S. Somewhere in the middle of writing this I got a mental image of Suge Knight walking around a third world country with a t-bone steak in his mouth taking blood from the most sickly looking children he can find. It made me laugh, and now hell is but a certainty.