How Did I Not Know Until Now That Austin Rivers Nailed A Fan In The Face With A Seat Cushion Last Night?
I can't. I just can't. Fucking Austin Rivers man. We are talking about Austin fucking Rivers here. Austin, why are you so mad, bro? You should have taken that cushion placed it down under your knees and prayed to the Lord that you're still on the Clippers. You should have said your Hail Mary's and thanked God that your dad saved your career. You aren't allowed to get upset about playing time. We can't have the 9th or 10th guy off the bench throwing fits and nailing opposing fans in the face with seat cushions. You are not good enough to get away with that. This isn't 3rd grade anymore, you can't just do whatever you want because your dad is the coach. Listen Austin, you are never going to be the straw that stirs the drink. More often than not you'll probably be that slice of lemon on the side of the glass that gets taken off and thrown on a napkin. Most of the time you are going to be unnecessary. Occasionally someone will want to switch it up and give you a squeeze, like tonight for instance, but you have to understand that is not going to be the norm. No reason to get all pissy about it. It's actually better to keep expectations low. That way you'll ever worry about failing to meet them.
In a way, this is Doc's fault. You don't coach a team to an NBA championship without having a supreme amount of confidence. It's these super competitive genes that are running trough Austin's blood that are to blame. They had him thinking he was good enough to be on Team USA, and now they got him thinking he's got enough clout to throw temper tantrums on the bench. In a way, I kind of respect him for it. His heightened sense of importance to this team is comical, but honestly, the Clippers probably don't win a couple of games in last year's playoffs without it. He certainly doesn't lack the confidence that he clearly inherited from his dad. Sometimes that can come back to haunt him, like when he pelts casual observers with pieces of the bench, but sometimes it can work out in the Clippers favor, like when he nets 14 points and helps put away the Mavericks. Either way, I always find it strange when I end up writing about Austin Rivers, but I appreciate the fact that a mediocre bench player somehow makes me do it so often.