How In The World Did Mark Cuban Out-Creep Steve Ballmer On The 'Kiss Cam'?

First of all, good for the Clippers brass to seize a golden opportunity to make a joke at the expense of a tense situation. It had to be done, but far too often franchises shy away from any and all controversy, even if it as harmless as a ‘Kiss Cam’ appearance. 
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Upset alert! Who would have thought that the owner that is basically the billionaire version of every irrational sports fan would out-creep the old dude that somehow dances whiter than his skin color? Steve Ballmer is supposed to be up there making some Dad-like expression that makes us all feel uncomfortable, not Mark Cuban. Yo, no joke, when Mark Cuban blew that kiss my asshole quivered, my balls jumped up into my stomach, and my heart dropped to meet them in the middle. Holy shit dude, what was that smile? Just throw on some face paint and a red nose and you can haunt the nightmares of the entire sports world this Halloween. That pedo-smile was straight out of the Jerry Sandusky handbook. I'm half expecting to wash my face before bed tonight and see that grin in the reflection of the mirror when I put the towel down. Absolutely maniacal. Reminds me of the sloppy joe lady from ‘Billly Madison’. Hey Mark, you’re scaring us! I guess that’s just what it looks like when you blow a kiss to a man you truly want to strangle to death with your bare hands. Oh well, if DeAndre Jordan still wasn’t positive about his decision then I am sure that JumboTron appearance just put his mind at ease.

P.S. I love Steve Ballmer to death and I think he is hysterical, but he has the mannerisms of an autistic blowfish. No offense to autistic people or blowfish, but facts are facts.