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Two Minutes, Well Worth It

How Is This The First Time I Am Finding OUt That Tom Cruise Has A Tooth In The Middle Of His Face?

4/12/2015

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Remember back in the day when Tom Cruise was slinging drinks in 'Cocktail' and slinging loose women in 'Risky Business'? The days where he couldn't meet a pair of panties that weren't slicker than the morning dew? The days where he actually succeeded in making dancing alone in your tighty whities cool? The days where men wanted to be him, and women wanted to be with him? My how the mighty have fallen. I'll give him this, at least it has a been a gradual decline. Fair to say his street cred took a hit when women found out he was 5'3 in heels. Kind of lost his sexual appeal somewhere around endorsing a fictional scientific religion and dancing on Oprah's couch like he forgot to take his Ritalin. 

And even after all that, I think most would say that Tom Cruise still had an aura of attractiveness. Well, it appears those days have come and gone. A crooked ass smile is the least attractive thing in the world. If a person's picture shows them with a closed mouth smile they are gross. A closed mouth smile is more of an indictment of your looks than a selfie taken from 3 feet above your head.  If you have got to hide your teeth, your teeth are a train wreck. A couple misplaced fangs will drop you from a 9 to a 4, or from a 4 to a "take it behind the barn and shoot it". If there is one thing that embraces the philosophy of "hiding in plain sight" it is Tom Cruise's middle tooth. Has he been smiling so much that we forgot to examine his smile? If I didn't know any better and I saw Tom Cruise smiling in a bar I would head home assuming I had too much to drink. Tom Cruise's smile looks like it tried to take a left out of his mouth and rolled the wheels up on the curb. Pretty ironic he embraces Scientology when science can't even explain the phenomenon taking place in his mouth. There are a lot of smiles that will cause you to shift your gaze, but Tom's is such a biological anomaly that looking away is 'Mission:Impossible'. 

Live look at Tom Cruise...
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