Huffington Post- Sen. Ted Cruz (R-Texas) introduced himself to the crowd at Wednesday night's GOP presidential debate, describing himself as a proud father and the "son of an Irish-Italian mom and a Cuban immigrant dad who fled oppression and came to America seeking freedom."
The audience responded with a resoundingly awkward silence. Seriously, not a single person clapped. Don't worry, Ted, maybe they all just forgot.
Poor guy. Poor, poor guy. The funny thing is that the ONLY reason that I have sympathy for Ted Cruz is because I have no idea what views for which he stands. I have now watched a majority of two Republican GOP debates that Ted Cruz was a part of, and couldn't tell you how he feels on any one issue. Now, considering he's a Republican I can safely assume that he harbors at least one extremely antiquated belief that marginalizes some demographic of society, but honestly, that would just be a guess. You know why I don't know? You know why, after watching nearly 4 full hours of a debate that featured Ted Cruz, I can't tell you what he talked about? It's because every time I see his face I instantly tune out. He just looks like he is about to whine at me at all times. I refuse to pay any attention to a potential Presidential candidate (not really) when he constantly looks like he is going to complain about everything.
Here's a novel idea Ted. How about you go wipe off whatever is on your upper lip that you keep sniffing, and return to us looking like a confident, self respecting candidate. The crazy part is that his look forces me to redirect all of my senses so fast that I don't even know what he sounds like. If I had to make an uneducated presumption based solely on his appearance I would say he's the male equivalent of Fran Drescher. Just bitching about everything, even when he has no intention of doing so. Seriously though, you know why Ted Cruz got the silent treatment? Well, part of it is probably because his policies suck, but the other part is undoubtedly that his face is one that only a mother could love....assuming, of course, that his mother is blinder than Ray Charles in a windowless basement. I truly feel bad. It's like his genetics never even gave him a chance. He'd be better off standing up there talking through a George Bush mask. I have legitimately seen less hatable faces on mass murders, terrorists, and child molesters, and for that reason I feel compassion for Ted Cruz...just not enough to look him in the eyes while he's talking.